Post Tagged with: "football"

Local Man Found Dead with Traces of Toxic Masculinity in Body

May 7, 2018 12:00 pmComments Off on Local Man Found Dead with Traces of Toxic Masculinity in Body
Local Man Found Dead with Traces of Toxic Masculinity in Body
Read more ›

Brilliant Young Professor About To Get Nailed By Football

May 23, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Brilliant Young Professor About To Get Nailed By Football
Brilliant Young Professor About To Get Nailed By Football

STANFORD – Professor Mitchell Eisenberg is one of the world’s top experts in neural networks, but he’s so much more than a brilliant computer scientist. He founded a startup that teaches computer science to impoverished youths. He’s an expert on 20th century American history. And he’s about to get nailed […]

Read more ›

45-40: Literacy Scores of Alabama Versus Clemson

January 19, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on 45-40: Literacy Scores of Alabama Versus Clemson
45-40: Literacy Scores of Alabama Versus Clemson
Read more ›

NCAA Suspends McCaffrey For Being Too Cool for School

January 4, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on NCAA Suspends McCaffrey For Being Too Cool for School
NCAA Suspends McCaffrey For Being Too Cool for School

Despite the Cardinal’s impressive 45-16 rout of the Iowa Hawkeyes in this year’s Rose Bowl, the evening ended on a somber note as NCAA officials revealed that star RB Christian McCaffrey will be suspended for a year under a little-known NCAA by-law banning outrageous charm and good looks. Noting the […]

Read more ›

Gaieties To Feature Cameos From Cal’s Entire Starting Defense

November 16, 2015 12:01 pmComments Off on Gaieties To Feature Cameos From Cal’s Entire Starting Defense
Gaieties To Feature Cameos From Cal’s Entire Starting Defense

Reports indicate that Gaieties, Stanford’s long-running musical that ridicules our enemies from across the Bay, will this year feature cameos from every athlete currently starting for the Bears’ defense. While this move may surprise many, given that these 11 men will be playing against Stanford on Saturday, many Cal players […]

Read more ›

Op Ed: This is how football works

12:00 pmComments Off on Op Ed: This is how football works
Op Ed: This is how football works

Hi, I’m Rick Featherton and I’m going to explain how football works. The rules of football are complicated, and can get confusing to the layman or woman. But have no fear! By the time you’ve finished reading this, you’ll be a football expert! Football starts when all the players (each […]

Read more ›

David Shaw’s Math Issues Worsen As Offense Improves

October 12, 2015 12:01 pmComments Off on David Shaw’s Math Issues Worsen As Offense Improves
David Shaw’s Math Issues Worsen As Offense Improves

Since his appointment as head coach five years ago, David Shaw has been known for his low scoring, conservative victories. But it was only after the Stanford offense’s recent impressive play, in which they scored 42, 41 and 55 points, that those closest to Shaw have finally realized that the […]

Read more ›

After Four Years of Dominance, Stanford Students Forced to Recalibrate Expectations

October 27, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on After Four Years of Dominance, Stanford Students Forced to Recalibrate Expectations
After Four Years of Dominance, Stanford Students Forced to Recalibrate Expectations

As fall quarter midterms exact their toll on exhausted pupils, the Stanford community is once again reminded how entire groups of students, accustomed to being exceptional for the last four years, must suddenly come to terms with the feeling of being average. “I think it’s a very difficult transition for […]

Read more ›

David Shaw Ponders Meaning of Life, Calls Run Up the Middle

October 13, 2014 12:01 pmComments Off on David Shaw Ponders Meaning of Life, Calls Run Up the Middle
David Shaw Ponders Meaning of Life, Calls Run Up the Middle

Facing a crucial play in the third quarter of Stanford’s close loss to Notre Dame, David Shaw looked down the sideline at his assistant coaches and players. In their faces, he saw only blankness and despair. Said Shaw after the game, “I remember just being hit with a large wave […]

Read more ›

Football Spring Game Gives Fans First Glimpse into 2015 Offseason

April 16, 2014 9:00 amComments Off on Football Spring Game Gives Fans First Glimpse into 2015 Offseason
Football Spring Game Gives Fans First Glimpse into 2015 Offseason

Last Saturday, fans eagerly descended on Stanford Stadium for the Cardinal and White Spring Game, a showcase of all the exciting things to come during Stanford Football’s upcoming 2015 offseason. “It’s great to see some of the fresh faces out there that will become the future of Stanford Football and […]

Read more ›