Post Tagged with: "Donald Trump"

I think Donald Trump Is A Terrible Person, But I Sure Do Love His Music

June 5, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on I think Donald Trump Is A Terrible Person, But I Sure Do Love His Music
I think Donald Trump Is A Terrible Person, But I Sure Do Love His Music
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All Women’s Issues Fixed Forever

February 3, 2017 1:48 pmComments Off on All Women’s Issues Fixed Forever
All Women’s Issues Fixed Forever

Last Saturday, over one million people worldwide marched in the Women’s Marches, protesting Donald Trump’s presidency and officially marking the successful end of women’s issues altogether. Such phenomena as unequal pay, objectification, sexual violence, the glass ceiling, general misogyny, and other bummer subjects are over. People everywhere are overjoyed that […]

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Op Ed: I Stepped On Donald Trump While Time Traveling And Now A Butterfly Is The President

January 30, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Op Ed: I Stepped On Donald Trump While Time Traveling And Now A Butterfly Is The President
Op Ed: I Stepped On Donald Trump While Time Traveling And Now A Butterfly Is The President
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Trump Prepares Balls For Placement on Presidential Desk

November 28, 2016 12:01 pmComments Off on Trump Prepares Balls For Placement on Presidential Desk
Trump Prepares Balls For Placement on Presidential Desk

As much of the country begins to reluctantly adjust to their disgust at the idea of a Trump presidency, Donald Trump himself has been busy making preparations for his administration’s transition to the White House. Chief among those preparations are choosing a presidential cabinet from a list of names copied […]

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Baltic States Consider Just Joining Russia And Getting This Over With

November 16, 2016 9:00 amComments Off on Baltic States Consider Just Joining Russia And Getting This Over With
Baltic States Consider Just Joining Russia And Getting This Over With

As liberal America reels in shock from the prospect of a Trump presidency, America’s allies abroad have already begun to jump ship. “Fuck it guys, let’s just get this over with,” said Lithuanian president Dalia Grybauskaite, “time to go back to being a Russian colony”. The prospect of an American […]

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Op-Ed: Student’s Horizons Already So Widened After Two Weeks Abroad

October 10, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: Student’s Horizons Already So Widened After Two Weeks Abroad
Op-Ed: Student’s Horizons Already So Widened After Two Weeks Abroad

EUROPE — Bonjour, uncultured swine.  I write to you from a park bench overlooking the River, using cigarette butts from an ash tray I found in a hospital waiting room.  Someone pick-pocketed my fountain pen and also my passport and additionally my wallet (it happens all the time abroad, even […]

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Room Full of Designers Found Dead Next To New Trump/Pence Logo

July 15, 2016 2:27 pmComments Off on Room Full of Designers Found Dead Next To New Trump/Pence Logo
Room Full of Designers Found Dead Next To New Trump/Pence Logo
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Chris Christie Seen Blasting Boombox Outside Trump’s Hotel Room

10:29 amComments Off on Chris Christie Seen Blasting Boombox Outside Trump’s Hotel Room
Chris Christie Seen Blasting Boombox Outside Trump’s Hotel Room
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NRA Seriously Considered All Candidates Before Trump Endorsement

May 23, 2016 12:01 pmComments Off on NRA Seriously Considered All Candidates Before Trump Endorsement
NRA Seriously Considered All Candidates Before Trump Endorsement

Last week’s NRA endorsement of presidential candidate Donald Trump surprised few. Nevertheless, spokesmen from the NRA were quick to justify their decision as being the cumulating effort of weeks of research. Said one NRA representative, “Gun gun gun gun gun. Gun gun gun gun gun gun gun. Gun gun gun, […]

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Ask A Trump Supporter Stuck In A 10-Foot Ditch

April 21, 2016 9:00 amComments Off on Ask A Trump Supporter Stuck In A 10-Foot Ditch
Ask A Trump Supporter Stuck In A 10-Foot Ditch

Dear Trump Supporter, A lot of my friends rushed this quarter. Originally I didn’t think Greek life was for me so I skipped out on it, but now that almost all of my friends have joined frats and sororities I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m missing out. Do you […]

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