Post Tagged with: "Donald Trump sex tape"

Some Grandparents Die, And That’s OK, And Some Grandparents Can’t Die Even If They Want To, And That’s OK Too

May 22, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Some Grandparents Die, And That’s OK, And Some Grandparents Can’t Die Even If They Want To, And That’s OK Too
Some Grandparents Die, And That’s OK, And Some Grandparents Can’t Die Even If They Want To, And That’s OK Too
Read more ›

Op-ed: ASSU elections are just a big popularity contest, and it looks like we’re the mothafuckin’ winners

April 17, 2017 12:01 pmComments Off on Op-ed: ASSU elections are just a big popularity contest, and it looks like we’re the mothafuckin’ winners
Op-ed: ASSU elections are just a big popularity contest, and it looks like we’re the mothafuckin’ winners

Editor’s note: This article was written on Saturday, prior to the release of the ASSU election results. Like you, we’re pretty damn sure the Flipside slate will win. Come on. Everyone knows that elections for ASSU exec are just a big popularity contest- a way for the cool, social, pretty […]

Read more ›

Sorority Enters Annual Molting Season

April 10, 2017 12:01 pmComments Off on Sorority Enters Annual Molting Season
Sorority Enters Annual Molting Season

With the smell of rush still ripe in the spring air, Tau Omega sorority has once more entered their annual molting season, thus beginning to shed their earthly forms, reborn and ready for new members. The chapter’s house is already littered with crafts, glitter, yummy snacks, and—both most importantly and […]

Read more ›

Water-Filled Coffee Thermos Way Too Qualified For This Shit

February 6, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Water-Filled Coffee Thermos Way Too Qualified For This Shit
Water-Filled Coffee Thermos Way Too Qualified For This Shit

Realizing the whole of its temperature-maintaining design ethos was being ignored so that it could serve as a “glorified Poland Spring disposable”, the coffee thermos owned by Yusef Dominguez insisted on Monday that it was way too overqualified for its current work assignment. “Do you see what I’m being used […]

Read more ›

Quote of the Week 1/30

January 30, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Quote of the Week 1/30
Quote of the Week 1/30

“Fuck!” –Man Watching Porn Impatiently

Read more ›

Stanford Unveils New Science Library And It’s Very Sexy

January 23, 2017 12:01 pmComments Off on Stanford Unveils New Science Library And It’s Very Sexy
Stanford Unveils New Science Library And It’s Very Sexy

After months of work, construction on Stanford’s ‘Old Chemistry Building’ has finally been completed. The revamped structure is no longer solely for chemistry. The newly unveiled Sapp Center, as it is called, is a general science center and library for undergraduate students studying biology and mathematics, and it is also […]

Read more ›

My Sunday Afternoon With Vice President Elect Mike Pence

January 17, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on My Sunday Afternoon With Vice President Elect Mike Pence
My Sunday Afternoon With Vice President Elect Mike Pence

We began the day with a light stroll through the farmer’s market down the road. I wanted to hold his hand, but he held them behind his back for the entire forty-five minutes.  I picked up some ingredients for snacks on the picnic we had planned, and only Mike’s favorites: […]

Read more ›

Quote of the Week 1/16/17

12:00 pmComments Off on Quote of the Week 1/16/17
Quote of the Week 1/16/17

“No way Donald Trump’s gonna drain that swamp” — Swamp Monster, cocking shotgun

Read more ›

Op Ed: Please Stop Treading on My Snake

January 13, 2017 9:00 amComments Off on Op Ed: Please Stop Treading on My Snake
Op Ed: Please Stop Treading on My Snake

When I got a pet snake for Christmas, I thought it would be nice to bring it back to school and let it live in my dorm with me. I imagined it slithering from room to room, bringing a little serpentine cheer to all whom it encountered. Call me a […]

Read more ›

With Imminent Defunding Of Planned Parenthood, Americans Agree to Just Stop Having Sex

January 10, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on With Imminent Defunding Of Planned Parenthood, Americans Agree to Just Stop Having Sex
19270872 - couple is considering the future design of the apartment

With news that the GOP is planning on defunding Planned Parenthood with the repeal of Obamacare, a new study shows that millions of young couples have simply agreed to stop having sex. “What else can we do now? It might just be for the best,” says Andrew Verma. “I and […]

Read more ›