BCS Forgets To Factor IQ, SAT Scores into Rankings

November 1, 2011 11:00 am
BCS Forgets To Factor IQ, SAT Scores into Rankings
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Campus Police Create Task Force to Combat “Meal Fraud”

6:00 am
Campus Police Create Task Force to Combat “Meal Fraud”

After growing pressure from dining halls across campus, Stanford Police has finally decided to crack down on meal fraud. “The numbers were off,” said Wilbur Hall Dining general manger Alan Freedman, “And not just by a little. Our studies show that total losses due to meal fraud are in the […]

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Issue 96 Puzzles

October 31, 2011 12:00 pm
Issue 96 Puzzles
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Hennessy: “Fuck it, We’re Going to be a Football School.”

6:00 am
Hennessy: “Fuck it, We’re Going to be a Football School.”

After several years of continued success on the gridiron, President Hennessy announced that Stanford University would transfer all funds dedicated to academics to the championship-contending football program. “Honestly, the average American does not give two shits that we’re one of the best academic schools in the country,” Hennessy explained as […]

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Canada Begins Tourism Initiative: Occupy Canada

6:00 am
Canada Begins Tourism Initiative: Occupy Canada
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Chem 31A Midterm Keeps Student Out of Med School

6:00 am
Chem 31A Midterm Keeps Student Out of Med School

Last week, Stanford senior Katie Mullhondacivic was dismayed to learn that she was rejected from every medical school to which she applied because did poorly on her second midterm in Chem 31A. “I didn’t do well on that one test, but then I studied really hard and rocked the final. […]

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