New Contemplation Center the Result of Aggressive Game of “Text or 4.2 Million Dollar Building”

May 1, 2012 6:00 am
New Contemplation Center the Result of Aggressive Game of “Text or 4.2 Million Dollar Building”

Stanford Board of Trustees member Wendy Munger woke up in a daze last Sunday morning only to realize that she had approved a new 4.2 million dollar contemplation center as part of a ridiculous game. Modeled after Text or Shot, “Text or 4.2 Million Dollar Building” forces players to either […]

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Issue 115 Puzzles

April 30, 2012 12:02 pm
Issue 115 Puzzles
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Cool ProFro Scores Alcohol for Upperclassmen

6:01 am
Cool ProFro Scores Alcohol for Upperclassmen

With Admit Weekend in the rearview mirror, rumors have begun to surface of a lone cool ProFro who managed to obtain alcohol for his hosts despite a campus-wide ban in effect throughout the weekend. The badass ProFro, whose name has not been disclosed, has elicited praise and awe from the […]

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Nobel Prize in Economics Awarded for “Master Hand” Theory

6:00 am
Nobel Prize in Economics Awarded for “Master Hand” Theory

Stanford economics professor Gerald Walker was recently awarded the Nobel Prize in economics after pioneering the new “master hand” theory of markets to explain recent trends in global finance. “The antiquated ‘invisible hand’ metaphor is no longer an accurate model of the economic realities of our day,” explained Walker in […]

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Board of Trustees To Buy $4.2 Million of “Contemplation Toilets”

6:00 am
Board of Trustees To Buy $4.2 Million of “Contemplation Toilets”

After an extensive study regarding the contemplation resources available on campus, the Stanford Board of Trustees took a decisive action in a vote this past week and designated 4.2 million dollars for construction of contemplation toilets. Board member Louis Calloway explained, “We’ve realized that students here just weren’t doing enough […]

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CoHo On Probation for Serving Alcohol during Admit Weekend

6:00 am
CoHo On Probation for Serving Alcohol during Admit Weekend
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