Easy Stanford Students Had Access to List of “Athletic” Classes

March 10, 2011 1:32 pm
Easy Stanford Students Had Access to List of “Athletic” Classes

News broke this week about a list of fitness classes being distributed to the sexually easier members of the Stanford community. The list is designed to give certain members of the Stanford community an unfair advantage in the bedroom. Well-known fratboy Will, who’s known campus-wide for being easy to sleep […]

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Apple Announces iPad 2 and iPad 3D

9:00 am
Apple Announces iPad 2 and iPad 3D

In a press conference last week, Steve Jobs announced that he will not only be releasing the iPad 2, he will also release the iPad 3D. “It will be a magical experience,” said Jobs. “Never before has there been a device so beautiful, so realistic, and in three dimensions. It […]

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Pokemon Club Celebrates Ash Wednesday

March 9, 2011 11:42 pm
Pokemon Club Celebrates Ash Wednesday
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Critics Condemn/Applaud Obama’s Saying of Words

9:00 am
Critics Condemn/Applaud Obama’s Saying of Words

Yesterday, Obama took the opportunity to say words, a rare event that only occurs several times each day. Many political pundits have applauded Obama’s recent words, hailing them as a shaping force with the potential to change America–and the world–for the better. “Obama’s words have opened my eyes and made […]

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OPINION: Days of the Week Have Feelings Too

March 8, 2011 10:00 pm
OPINION:  Days of the Week Have Feelings Too

By Tuesday It has recently come to my attention that for the past couple of centuries people have been referring to me as “fat”. In all honesty, this is pretty offensive. Okay, maybe I did eat a bit too much lamb that one time back in 1148. But I’ve been […]

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ASSU Officers Receive Large Stipends: Compensating For Something?

9:36 am
ASSU Officers Receive Large Stipends: Compensating For Something?
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