Fandango Employees Weep for Man Who Bought One Ticket to New Big Momma Movie

February 24, 2011 2:37 pm
Fandango Employees Weep for Man Who Bought One Ticket to New Big Momma Movie

We at Fandango would like to express our heartfelt sympathies and prayers for Phil Hughes of billing address 618 Marsh Hawk Lane in Seattle, Wash., 98101. We hope that it was some sort of atrocious mistake, that he somehow clicked on show times for “Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son” […]

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‘E’ Tired of Coming After ‘I’, Acheives Change to Rule

2:37 pm
‘E’ Tired of Coming After ‘I’, Acheives Change to Rule

Last week, the letter E testified before the Superior Court of Alphabet Affairs requesting a reveiw of the oft-cited spelling rule “I before E except after C.” In his eloquent closing remarks, E stated, “I just don’t beleive it’s fair that I almost always gets to stand in front of […]

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U.S. Marines to Use Super Soakers as Main Firearms

February 23, 2011 2:36 pm
U.S. Marines to Use Super Soakers as Main Firearms

Citing a desire to adopt a non-lethal approach to deterring enemies, the U.S. Marines recently announced a plan to begin phasing out bullet-based firearms, replacing them instead with Nerf brand Super Soakers. “Our polling indicates that the American people aren’t really fond of us going around and killing foreigners with […]

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Michelle Obama Newest Cover Girl for Sports Illustrated: Presidents’ Day Spread

2:35 pm
Michelle Obama Newest Cover Girl for Sports Illustrated: Presidents’ Day Spread

Michelle Obama is the newest cover girl for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue for the magazine’s Presidents’ Day special. The spread features over 15 pictures of the first lady on the exotic beaches a few hours from Washington, D.C.  Obama nabbed the cover girl spot from other prominent first ladies […]

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Issue 78 Puzzles

February 22, 2011 9:52 am
Issue 78 Puzzles
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ASSU Stays Up Late Cramming for STI Tests

1:44 am
ASSU Stays Up Late Cramming for STI Tests
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