The Stanford Flipside » 37

Mausoleum Party Revived

Jeremy Keeshin — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:05:26 +0000

Stanford Opens White Men’s Community Center

Kenji Tanabe — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:51:45 +0000

After fighting for years, white males will no longer be the only demographic on campus lacking an official community center. Although unofficial white cultural hubs such as the Stanford Crew Team and Sigma Chi have promoted vibrant white cultural communities in the past, student founder John Samson II was quick to point out the gap the community center will fill.

“We have seen our representation numbers decrease precipitously from thirty years ago, and we feel as if our cultural presence and traditions are being threatened on campus.” Samson also outlined inequalities in the present system: “It’s not fair that everyone else gets free printing at their community center. But what do you get if you’re white? An awkward invitation to the Asian Community Center Speaker Series, but no free printing.”

Located in what was formerly Room 216 of Old Union, the White Men’s Community Center will officially open its doors to constituents this Thursday. The WMCC hopes to cultivate an atmosphere where everybody is welcome in the center, but only white people actually.

Student Ostracized For Throwing Garbage Into Compost Bin

Adam Adler — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:46:50 +0000

  RICKER DINING—In an effort to curb global warming and environmental degradation, students and dining officials across campus have implemented new policies to promote green living and environmentally friendly lifestyles. Specifically, dining halls across campus have encouraged students to recycle, to compost their food, and to abstain from meat, dairy, and trays.

Last week, Jeremy Hutchins forgot about the new environmentally friendly practices. As Hutchins was clearing his tray, he placed all of his waste in a bin for compostables—including items which should have been placed in a normal trash can. “I just couldn’t believe my eyes,” remarked Sarah Ferguson, witness to the event. “I mean, this is our planet. Only compost is allowed in the compost bin—our children’s lives depend on it. To see someone ignoring the rules—to see him placing everything into the compost bin—it just broke my heart.”  

Following the incident, Hutchins received several hostile glances from his peers and the solemn judgment of the dining staff. “I just didn’t know what to do—everyone was staring at me, so I just told everyone I was sorry and ran off, I didn’t even know what I’d done wrong until I received the angry emails. I’ll definitely never make the mistake again,” said Hutchins, when reflecting on the incident.

Stanford Adds Bikepool Lanes

Jeremy Lai — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:42:58 +0000

STANFORD, CA—Stanford University has finished renovating all the roads on campus with new High Occupancy Vehicle bike lanes. These new HOV bike lanes are intended to support the University’s push for sustainability by reducing carbon emissions and by reducing traffic.

Stern Resident Kenny Wilson commented, “It was difficult at first to find people to bikepool with, but now that I have my group of 4, we really do save a lot of money on air for our tires.”

Stanford police warn all residents that they will enforce the 3+ rule on the HOV lanes. Students who violate the rule will be ticketed and fined up to $437. An option to take a class on defensive biking will be offered.

Football Player Living Vicariously Through Fantasy Self

Jeremy Keeshin — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:38:50 +0000

Guy Dressed Up as Obama Totally Unqualified to Win Costume Contest

Jeremy Keeshin — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 08:14:40 +0000

The Flipside Juice: Excercising or Exorcising- Which is Right for You?

Jeremy Keeshin — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 07:54:27 +0000

Issue 37 Puzzles

Jeremy Keeshin — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 03:50:13 +0000