The Stanford Flipside » 25

Issue 25 Puzzles

Jeremy Keeshin — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 02:31:17 +0000

Stanford Implements Affirmative Action For Babes

Joel Cummings — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 00:39:35 +0000

Stanford University is hoping to make impressive headway on the diversity front with a new plan to reach out to its most neglected minority: babes. The initiative centers around an affirmative action program that will ease admission requirements for babes and entice them with generous financial aid packages. “This is an important step for us in crafting a diverse student population and reaching out to demographics that have been historically underrepresented at Stanford,” proclaimed Dean of Admissions Richard Shaw. “Our attitude used to be, ‘Let the babes come to us.’ Those days are over—we’re going to be extremely proactive from now on.”

The construction of a community center for babes is also in the works. Previously, the babes of Stanford University were resigned to a life of quiet suffering in the Cowell Cluster. “I’m really excited about finally having a place where I can feel comfortable on campus,” said a babe who wished to remain anonymous. “The Babe Community Center will provide a great space for us to gather, and babe-affiliated student groups will finally have a place to meet.” The babe community and its supporters have applauded these measures, which will bring Stanford up to speed with more progressive institutions like University of Arizona and Loyola Marymount University.

The Flipside Magazine – Science: Is it Science or Pseudoscience?

Jeremy Keeshin — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 23:37:22 +0000

Somali Pirates? More Like Robin Hood of the Seas

Jeremy Keeshin — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 23:35:31 +0000

In an effort to clear up their less than stellar reputation, the Somali pirates issued a statement today making clear their intention to donate all goods and money gained from their pirating efforts towards very worthy cause: the Susan G. Breast Cancer Foundation.

“We like to think of ourselves as the Robin Hoods of the seas,” said one Somali pirate Abdi Farah Juha. “People think we just take the money for ourselves to buy more guns and do that sort of criminal behavior. But we pirate for the greater good.”

Breast cancer foundations all over the world are truly thankful for what the pirates have done for them. “Without the Somali pirates, I don’t know where we’d be,” said Nancy Goodman Brinker, founder of Susan G. Komen For a Cure. “They just keep giving and giving.”

“It was hard for us to decide where to donate the abducted ships and goods stolen,” said a pirate. “There are just so many good causes.”

The Somali pirates all plan to participate in a breast cancer walk next year, and will be sure to sport the pink ribbon on their shirts and AK-47s.

Hippie Club Changes Name to Students For a Sustainable Stanford

Barney Schmutz — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 00:33:54 +0000

Student Celebrates 4/20, Earth Day In Same Way: Smoking and Watching Planet Earth

Joel Cummings — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 00:28:01 +0000

AIM Adds Smiley Face With Grills Emoticon

Barney Schmutz — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 00:25:50 +0000

Come to the Condival!

Barney Schmutz — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 00:23:37 +0000