Rush. What a wonderful way to find your sisters at Stanford! Standing in line alphabetically, waiting to enter the room filled with clapping and cheering sorority girls, I have truly connected with all the girls whose last name begins with “L.” I have even become quite close to some “M”s and “N”s. The bonds of sisterhood have already begun to form!

The conversations I have shared with the sorority girls have been truly profound. Shouting over the noise until my voice is hoarse and sometimes having to read lips to hear what the other girl is saying, we discuss art, politics, and Kate Spade. Because, clearly, long-lasting relationships are built off similar taste in shoes!

In those two minutes, it is important to encapsulate your entire essence as a human being. It is best if this can be accomplished in one phrase. Better yet, if it can be shown through your outfit. Clothes speak louder than words. You want to prove to them that you have clothes that they might want to borrow for some event later on. Don’t forget accessories, either.

The true test is if you can impress them with your girl-flirting abilities. Whoever thinks that girls only flirt with guys is completely delusional. Boys are only used to practice flirting abilities. The pretty smile, sweet laugh, and well-timed hair flip are all very effective on guys. But girls are far more difficult. They see through a laugh that is slightly too high, a smile that is too forced. To impress a girl, you really have to be on your game. And rush is the prime opportunity to utilize your girl-flirting maneuvers and to see how charming you really are. They will become your sisters, if you can seduce them first. So go to a few frat parties before rush to brush up on your game. But, don’t go too wild! You don’t want to walk in with a reputation.

The most common Rush Week activity requires participants to recite illogical statements repeatedly and loudly until everyone in a participant’s vicinity concedes that the statement is true. When asked why students are doing this, Freshman Benjamin Truden explained, “It’s not every day of the year you get to emulate your favorite Republican pundit. And plus, doing stupid things is a great way to get people to like you.”

Truden’s view that participating in Rush Week helps students to be accepted by their peers was echoed by another student, Erica Meyers. According to Meyers, “If you want to be part of the party, this is just something you have to do. People who question our actions just don’t know what it means to believe in something.”

Participants of Rush Week also engaged in more extreme actions of dedication. Some were pressured into eating unhealthy quantities of food while others turned to drugs such as OxyContin to prove their dedication to Rush activities. The most dedicated Rushers, however, demonstrated their intensity by finding several people in wheelchairs and accusing them of faking their disability to gain pity and attention from others.

“For one week, Rush is fun,” said Truden. “But to be like Limbaugh every day of the year is just mind boggling. It’s truly impressive.”