The Stanford Flipside » 19 – Robber Barons Collaboration Issue

Local Overachiever to Go Work at McKinsie and Co.

Josh Freedman — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:50:30 +0000

Report: Stanford No Longer Well-Endowed

Josh Freedman — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:49:18 +0000

A report released yesterday by USA Today revealed that Stanford, in the midst of the nation’s crisis, can no longer be considered “well-endowed.” Vice Provost for Undergraduate Education John Bravman was “saddened” but remained optimistic. “Why do you have to always compare us to other schools like Harvard and Yale,” he said. “It’s not the size that matters, really, it’s how you use it.” Bravman continued to reassure all involved that this was no big deal, that every school is different, and that “Stanford will use all of its available resources to try and find an innovative way to make it look like we’ve got more than enough where it counts.”

RCC Recommends That You Google It

Alex Connolly — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:48:38 +0000

Entrepreneur Excited to Start New Romantic Venture

Josh Freedman — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:47:43 +0000

Recent graduate and Silicon Valley technology entrepreneur Jason Pirloni claimed he was “extremely excited about the prospects” of a new romantic venture he was pursuing. The project, named Jessica Simon, has been in the works since he met her two months ago. “It’s looking really good,” Pirloni said. “All of the infrastructure is in place, and I think there’s real need in the markets for this right now. I’m willing to take the risk to make this project really work.” Pirloni added, however, that he was still looking for some capital to finance the first date.

Housed Sororities Move to Tressider

Josh Freedman — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:46:29 +0000

TA Spends Another Valentine’s Day Office Hours Alone

Josh Freedman — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:45:28 +0000

With the next problem set not due until one week later, Math 51 Teaching Assistant Derek Mitchell spent his February 14th, 3:30 pm to 5 pm weekly office hours alone again in Room 380-U. “I didn’t expect there to be anything special, like a whole room of students who wanted to actually learn about the practical applications of linear algebra,” Mitchell said. “But at this time last year, I hoped, maybe, maybe there would be someone in my office hours this Valentine’s Day.” With the end of the session, Mitchell sighed and returned to the chalkboard to draw a new set of matrices made out of irrational numbers that looked like hearts.

Tour Guide Really Likes Stanford

Josh Freedman — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:44:34 +0000

Visitors and prospective students visiting Stanford’s campus on February 27th reported that their tour guide, James Strogen ‘10, really seemed to like Stanford. “He only had positive things to say about the people and the institution,” said prospective undergraduate student Alissa Brent. “He kept making very nice comments, and as far as I could tell, he was very happy with his decision to attend Stanford.” Members of the tour also unanimously agreed that Strogen was very interested in the exact height of Hoover Tower and that his enthusiasm for Sophomore College, which he did not participate in, was extraordinary.

High School Suck-Up Encounters Much Better Suck-Ups in College

Josh Freedman — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:43:04 +0000

Incoming freshman Ryan O’Connell, who considered himself an “outstanding” suck-up to authorities in high school, experienced a huge shock in his first week at Stanford when he found multiple people much more adept and experienced at the art of brownnosing. “It was just very strange,” O’Connell said. “In high school, I was always the best one at making the teachers like me and getting undeserved A’s. But now that I’m here in college, it seems like everyone is better at being a teacher’s pet than I am, and I just don’t know if I deserve to be here.” However, O’Connell vowed to work his hardest to improve and pledged he would start at square one by continually narcing on all his IHUM section classmates.

Bored Student Calculates Proportion of Stats Lecture Remaining

Josh Freedman — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:42:15 +0000

Awkward Silence Prolonged by Belated “Just Kidding”

Josh Freedman — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 06:41:10 +0000