The Stanford Flipside » 04 – The Full Moon on the Quad Issue

Issue 04 Puzzles

Jeremy Keeshin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 08:39:04 +0000

Student Mistakes Rollout For Earthquake

Jeremy Keeshin — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 07:37:02 +0000

Whats Your Number? : Famous FMOTQ Scores

Jeremy Keeshin — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 20:43:22 +0000

President John L. Hennessey 42, and they were all freshman
Dean Julie – 2, all tongue
Michelle Wie – 68, 3 under par
Provost John Etchemendy – 612, at least
President Herbert Hoover – 0, was studying to become President
Justice Sandra Day O’Connor – 9, a fair and balanced number
Lopez Brothers – Limit n->infinite
Jerry Yang – 3.14159, with a partial kiss
Larry Page – 1 with a 100 zeros (10 ^ 100)
John Steinbeck – 3, left FMOTQ early
Ken Kesey – 14, then went back to finish his book
Ben Savage – 2, and Topanga found out
Theodore Harold Maiman, made first laser – 4, and hit them all with laser beams
John McEnroe – 11, and they were aces
Andrew Shepherd, The American President – 17, he did go to Stanford

Michelle Wie Wins Full Moon Open: Scores 68, 3 Under Par

Jeremy Keeshin — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 20:25:53 +0000

“He Licked My Face!” : Overzealous Kisser Terrorizes Freshmen at Full Moon Festivities

Joel Cummings — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 21:18:44 +0000

Student Accidentally Wanders Into Sketchy Grad Student Corner At Full Moon on the Quad

Jeremy Keeshin — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 20:14:36 +0000

HISTORY CORNER, THE QUAD–Freshman student and first time Full-Moon goer Samantha Pelerman found herself overwhelmed and confused as she entered a sea of sketchy grad students last Tuesday at Full Moon on the Quad.
“There were at least twenty of them who rushed up to me at once and swore they weren’t grad students,” said Samantha. “But, I’m telling you, that helmet really gave it away.”
She came with a group of her other freshman friends, hoping for an innocent time, but as the night went on and each of her friends starting making out with other people, she found herself separated from the group.
As is common, she got trapped in the grad-student corner for around forty five minutes, by which time she had learned most of requirements to graduate from law school.

37% of Full Moon Revelers Identify as Both ‘Senior’ and ‘Freshman’

Joel Cummings — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 21:10:45 +0000

According to exit polls conducted by undercover reporters, 72% of Full Moon attendees were freshmen, while seniors accounted for another 65%. Surprisingly, 0% of poll responders identified themselves as sketchy graduate students. Statisticians in the math department analyzed these curious findings and released their reports late last night. “We have no choice but to conclude that 37% of responders claimed to be both seniors and freshmen, which is anomalous in a statistically significant way,” said graduate student Stephanie Chen, who did not attend.
Field reporters confirmed that something was awry on Tuesday night. Jessica D, who was undercover for The Flipside, noted that several male students told her they were ‘whatever you want me to be’ when she asked their class year. Faculty and students studying this phenomenon have turned to species of fish like the bluehead wrasse for answers. If there are too few males in a school of wrasse, some female fish will change sex to improve the ratio and improve their chances of passing on their genes. Some speculate that these students are fulfilling the same role at Full Moon On The Quad, facilitating more senior-freshman pairing than would otherwise be possible. “My flexibility is key to breaking down barriers,” said one student who adapts to potential partners based on their class year. “If you’re a senior and I’m a senior, why should we let that get in the way? I’ll be a freshman and we can hook up right now.”

University Physicists Strategically Plan First Full Moon To Be Day Before Midterm

Jeremy Keeshin — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 20:01:53 +0000

VARIAN BUILDING–After hours upon hours of equations and tinkering with nature, the Stanford University physicists emerged from the depths of the Varian basement with a solution to one of the most pressing university problems: How to calm down the insane annual event that has come to be known as Full Moon on the Quad.
University scientists knew that the answer would come only if they could find away to create a relative lunar shift such that the full moon would fall the day before the first large exam of the year: the midterm. It took the entire Physics Department as well as several interested members from the School of Earth Sciences to figure out a feasible way to alter the first full moon. Through some high-level special relativity and gravitation, they successfully altered the date of the first full moon by four days.
“It really was a university-wide effort,” said chairman of the project, Walter Greene. “The administration was behind us, and we all really felt the importance of making the moon conflict with the first midterms.”
Students who were affected by the coinciding of the full moon and the midterm had harsh feelings towards the project. “I had my chem midterm the day after the full moon. Who can go drinking and partying and making out in that situation? I just had to opt out.”
From the way that the Full Moon on the Quad turned out, it was evident that it was the tamest event in years. University officials were very happy with the success of this moon-shifting project. “I think we made the most people possible miss the event.” said President John L. Hennessy. “And that is what I call a success.”

Lone Sophomore Responsible For Full Mono on the Quad

Zach Galant — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 21:00:00 +0000