Armed Security Kills 10 and Injures 47 as students cross Bankman-Fried barricade to attend mid Synergy Party

At 2:30 am last Friday, numerous urgent calls were phoned into Vaden…

99 out of 100 Stanford professors “didn’t want a Nobel Prize anyways”

What a breakthrough! Breakthrough beam! In an internal survey conducted by Stanford…

Existential Paranoia Spreads As Construction Fencing Now Completely Surrounds Campus

Abby Ker, ‘24, couldn’t believe her eyes. Her morning bike commute to…

Daily Takes Major L (working title)

As an educated, well-read woman of distinguished title whose pedagogical and didactic…

Okay yeah really funny mothman to come to my sleepy time bonanza and steal my goddamn hour

To give a little bit of context for this diatribe that’s about…

Babe Wake Up They Patched David Guetta

So as I was munching on a delectable crumb of dryer lint…

Stanford Dining Destroys Super Bowl Sunday’s Chicken Pride

According to the National Chicken Council (how can I join by the…