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249 posts

Jeff Bezos Donates $800 Million to Reconstruct Notre Dame on Condition He Can Use as Fuck Shack

Public support for the reconstruction of the Notre-Dame de Paris after its…

Theresa May Only One Surprised by EU Release of Kraken into English Channel

In a totally foreseeable move this past Tuesday, the European Union (EU)…

Captain Marvel Under Fire After Mistaking Pakistani Village for “An Alien Spaceship”

Facing increased scrutiny amid the release of her new movie, superhero and…

Santa’s ELF Committee Runs Out of Money Because “Some Children Were Greedy Little Shits This Year”

Barely more than a month into 2019, an email sent out last…

Evil Liberal Turkey Scientists Release Conspiracy Theory of ‘Anthropogenic Thanksgiving’ to Turkey UN

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – Sensible, conservative turkeys worldwide likely gobbled at the recent…

Child Heir to Kazakhstani Throne Doesn’t Even Understand Net Unrealized Appreciation

I’m taking Econ 106A, and you know what? I’m outraged that when…

Op-Ed: I’m Going as Mario for Halloween, Not The Videogame Character, But The Guy Who Comes into My Dad’s Butcher Shop Every Month and Threatens to Break His Kneecaps if He Doesn’t “Do Right By Him”

Another year, another Halloween costume—and this time I’m dressing up as Mario…