As a Facebook representative explained in a press conference yesterday afternoon, “Based on extensive market research, we realized that when you like like someone, the ‘Like’ button is simply not enough. With the ‘Like Like’ button, you can tell that special Facebook friend that you want to be more than just friends.

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Many Facebook users have reacted positively to the announcement. For example, Jason Parsons, a sixth grader from Michigan, expressed excitement about trying out the new button. He explained, “There’s this girl that I really like, but I’m too scared to actually talk to her. A few weeks ago, I decided I would show her how I feel by pressing ‘Like’ on all of her 837 tagged photos on Facebook.  The ‘Like Like’ button just makes it so much easier!”

According to a Facebook insider, the company plans to introduce even more romantic buttons in the near future, including a ‘Love’ button for people who want to say “I love you” to their significant other but are too scared to do so in person.

Now, several weeks later, science has definitively shown that the cootie shot only
provides full protection against cooties for fifteen years. Even those who received the booster shot (“circle, circle, square, square, now you’ve got it everywhere”) can only count on twenty years of immunity. In response to this finding, Stanford University has activated its AlertSU system to urge all students to re-vaccinate as soon as possible. Provost John Etchemendy weighed in on the crisis in a memo posted online. “Because most Stanford students have relatively little contact with members of the opposite sex,” he wrote, “the cooties disease will not be able to spread very effectively. I fully believe that the Stanford community can and will get through this frightening time.”

“It was hard watching Jayne Appel miss all those shots, but the quality of the video on the iPad was unbelievable,” said basketball fanatic Roger Bueller.

The Cardinal went down on a 17-2 run, but those who watched it on the iPad reported that the animation for the score ticker on the bottom was absolutely unprecedented.

“I hate to see us lose,” said a mother of one of the players, “but watching it on my iPad, I felt like I was right in the stadium with them!”

Other disappointed fans confirmed that although it was hard to watch the title slip away, the high speed wi-fi connection made for a great viewing experience.

Let us know what you think of the app by emailing flipside@stanford.edu with comments and suggestions.