Wow! CERN Just Announced Their Newest Particle, and It’s Latino

March 13, 2017 12:00 pm
Wow! CERN Just Announced Their Newest Particle, and It’s Latino

Science alert! CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, just announced their newest particle. And good news, folks – it’s Latino! “This is the first particle we’ve announced that’s ethnically of latin origins”, announced Director-General Fabiola Gianotti in a weekly press briefing. “So far none of the atomic and subatomic […]

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Clitaurus Probably a Type of Dinosaur, Nation’s Middle Schoolers Report

February 27, 2017 12:00 pm
Clitaurus Probably a Type of Dinosaur, Nation’s Middle Schoolers Report

A consortium of middle schoolers has shaken America’s scientific community to the core following its announcement of startling new evidence that the Clitaurus is probably a type of dinosaur. “Well, yeah, it sounds like Tyrannosaurus,” commented lead researcher Trevor Bentonsworth during the big reveal of the team’s paradigm-shifting research, televised […]

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Marc Tessier-Lavigne to Allow Two Hottest People From Each Dorm to Get On Ark

12:00 pm
Marc Tessier-Lavigne to Allow Two Hottest People From Each Dorm to Get On Ark

STANFORD, CA — As the threat of flood increases each day of this rainy season at Stanford, Marc Tessier-Lavigne has announced a plan for the two hottest people from each dorm to begin boarding his ark. “At some point everyone will have to accept the reality of this armageddon flood […]

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Hacker Realizes The Real Mainframe Was Inside Him All Along

February 13, 2017 5:31 pm
Hacker Realizes The Real Mainframe Was Inside Him All Along
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Dear RCC: I’m Pretty Sure My Computer Is A Crockpot

December 5, 2016 12:00 pm
Dear RCC: I’m Pretty Sure My Computer Is A Crockpot

Dear RCC, 
 Whether it was a classic Holiday mix-up, or it’s been that way all along, I have some suspicions that my computer (previously thought to be a standard word-processing container) is in fact a crockpot. My first issue with this came up when I tried to turn in […]

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MIT Physicist-Restauranteurs Create Asian-Fusion Reactor

11:59 am
MIT Physicist-Restauranteurs Create Asian-Fusion Reactor
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