STAMP Stages Real Live Postal Delivery

October 28, 2008 1:38 am
STAMP Stages Real Live Postal Delivery
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Stanford Admissions Office Says They Never Would Have Accepted Gabriella From High School Musical

October 25, 2008 11:00 pm
Stanford Admissions Office Says They Never Would Have Accepted Gabriella From High School Musical
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Isolated FroSoCo Residents Declared New Species

10:00 pm
Isolated FroSoCo Residents Declared New Species

Students Can No Longer Produce Viable Offspring With Taller, More Social People Biology majors at Stanford University reported the emergence of a new species yesterday after decades of fieldwork and research. The Freshman-Sophomore College residents, once thought to be merely Lagunitans who migrated closer to the golf ranges, have finally […]

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ASSU Introduces Joint Resolution in Wake of Latest Squabble

9:41 pm
ASSU Introduces Joint Resolution in Wake of Latest Squabble

After endlessly bickering over a $2800 disaster known as the Welcome Barbecue, Senators Luukas Ilves ’09 and Yvorn Aswad-Thomas ’11 offered a joint resolution in the hopes of restoring collegiality and camaraderie among the divided student leaders. The resolution stipulated that a joint be passed around the chamber, with Senate […]

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Student Mistakes Rollout For Earthquake

October 24, 2008 12:37 am
Student Mistakes Rollout For Earthquake
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Whats Your Number? : Famous FMOTQ Scores

October 19, 2008 1:43 pm
Whats Your Number? : Famous FMOTQ Scores

President John L. Hennessey 42, and they were all freshman Dean Julie – 2, all tongue Michelle Wie – 68, 3 under par Provost John Etchemendy – 612, at least President Herbert Hoover – 0, was studying to become President Justice Sandra Day O’Connor – 9, a fair and balanced […]

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Michelle Wie Wins Full Moon Open: Scores 68, 3 Under Par

1:25 pm
Michelle Wie Wins Full Moon Open: Scores 68, 3 Under Par
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“He Licked My Face!” : Overzealous Kisser Terrorizes Freshmen at Full Moon Festivities

1:18 pm
“He Licked My Face!” : Overzealous Kisser Terrorizes Freshmen at Full Moon Festivities
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Student Accidentally Wanders Into Sketchy Grad Student Corner At Full Moon on the Quad

1:14 pm
Student Accidentally Wanders Into Sketchy Grad Student Corner At Full Moon on the Quad

HISTORY CORNER, THE QUAD–Freshman student and first time Full-Moon goer Samantha Pelerman found herself overwhelmed and confused as she entered a sea of sketchy grad students last Tuesday at Full Moon on the Quad. “There were at least twenty of them who rushed up to me at once and swore […]

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37% of Full Moon Revelers Identify as Both ‘Senior’ and ‘Freshman’

1:10 pm
37% of Full Moon Revelers Identify as Both ‘Senior’ and ‘Freshman’

According to exit polls conducted by undercover reporters, 72% of Full Moon attendees were freshmen, while seniors accounted for another 65%. Surprisingly, 0% of poll responders identified themselves as sketchy graduate students. Statisticians in the math department analyzed these curious findings and released their reports late last night. “We have […]

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