Nation’s Creeps Report Woman’s Hair Looks Really Soft

January 30, 2017 12:00 pm
Nation’s Creeps Report Woman’s Hair Looks Really Soft

Staring vacantly into the crowd covering their address, the National Association of Creeps reported yesterday that local woman Maria Richards’ hair looks really soft. Coming from across the country to share their findings with the press, the Association informed reporters that not only does Maria definitely have really soft hair, […]

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Roommate Exiled to Svalbard

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Roommate Exiled to Svalbard

In an unfortunate misunderstanding, sophomore Eric Robertson was exiled by his roommate late last Friday night to the remote Norwegian island of Svalbard in the high arctic. According to various residents of Crothers Hall, the dorm where the exiling occurred, Eric and his room mate were seen conversing quietly before […]

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Literature Researchers Discover Every Single Novel Is Actually a Subtle Critique of Capitalism

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Literature Researchers Discover Every Single Novel Is Actually a Subtle Critique of Capitalism

A Stanford postdoctoral research team has released groundbreaking new research in the field of comparative literature that, if validated by the academic community, would mean that every single novel ever written is actually a subtle yet biting critique of the capitalist system. “At first, our team believed that only a […]

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Report: Alarm Going Off

January 25, 2017 12:00 pm
Report: Alarm Going Off

Yesterday evening, a strange noise was heard coming from FloMo’s Faisan house, but officials could neither identify nor pinpoint the source of the sound. Describing the sound as a repeated, piercing “EEEEEE, EEEEEE, EEEEEE,” followed by a short break, and then another “EEEEEE, EEEEEE, EEEEEE,” students were remarkably puzzled by […]

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Stanford Unveils New Science Library And It’s Very Sexy

January 23, 2017 12:01 pm
Stanford Unveils New Science Library And It’s Very Sexy

After months of work, construction on Stanford’s ‘Old Chemistry Building’ has finally been completed. The revamped structure is no longer solely for chemistry. The newly unveiled Sapp Center, as it is called, is a general science center and library for undergraduate students studying biology and mathematics, and it is also […]

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Ski Trips Cancelled Due To Reported Sightings of Tupac In Tahoe Area

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Ski Trips Cancelled Due To Reported Sightings of Tupac In Tahoe Area

Stanford administration has released a statement expressing its disappointment over the rumor claiming that all ski trips going up to Lake Tahoe and the surrounding areas were cancelled due to poor weather, as previously thought. The statement also provided the correct cause of the cancellations: reports by many individuals stated […]

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