Biker Hit By Marguerite Shuttle Still Arrives At Destination Before Marguerite

February 26, 2017 12:00 pm
Biker Hit By Marguerite Shuttle Still Arrives At Destination Before Marguerite

  In a horrifying crash just in front of the Oval, the Marguerite, Stanford’s Free Shuttle, hit sophomore Josh Thacil while he was biking to the CalTrain station last week.   Onlookers say Thacil went flying through the air after being clipped by the bus, and emergency services were quickly […]

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Report: Campus Rocked by Exploding-Butt-Related Deaths

February 21, 2017 12:00 pm
Report: Campus Rocked by Exploding-Butt-Related Deaths

Stanford, CA – For months, the question of why so many people have died from their butts exploding has perplexed experts. In an in-depth report, we finally take a look at why the butts are exploding, how they’re exploding, and the impact the butt explosions have had on our community. […]

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Classifieds: Don’t Forget About Dan’s Marathon!

12:00 pm
Classifieds: Don’t Forget About Dan’s Marathon!

Hope everybody had a great time at Dance Marathon last Saturday, it seemed like a great event for a great cause. I just thought I’d pipe in and remind you that my similar dance event, Dan’s Marathon will be taking place this coming weekend. I’d love to see you there! […]

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Report: Local Satire Paper Missed Major Sporting Event

February 19, 2017 9:00 am
Report: Local Satire Paper Missed Major Sporting Event

Surprising absolutely no one, the Flipside staff has managed for two weeks to miss the opportunity to poke fun at the most widely televised athletic event in the U.S., the Super Bowl. Sources confirm that the Flipside nerds vaguely knew of the event’s occurrence and relevance, but that they had […]

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Hunger Games-Style Battle Initiated After Sesame Balls Run Out At Wilbur’s Lunar New Year Dinner

February 14, 2017 12:00 pm
Hunger Games-Style Battle Initiated After Sesame Balls Run Out At Wilbur’s Lunar New Year Dinner

Thursday evening’s Lunar New Year Celebration, a large, festive event at Wilbur Dining, brought flocks of students from all over campus to feast on many Asian cuisine items. With so many students, however, popular foods quickly ran out, including fan-favorites such as mochi, chocolate ice cream, and fried sesame balls. […]

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Stupid Salsa Verde Not Guac and Never Will Be

February 13, 2017 12:00 pm
Stupid Salsa Verde Not Guac and Never Will Be

Eyewitnesses at Stern Dining have reported that the cafeteria’s salsa verde is trying real hard to look like guacamole but that it doesn’t, can’t, and never will. It just isn’t smart enough. “That stupid, stupid salsa verde is acting like people actually think it’s guac”, noted regular Stern diner and […]

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