Area Coach Reminds Team That There Is One Meat In “Team”

March 13, 2017 12:00 pm
Area Coach Reminds Team That There Is One Meat In “Team”
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Hilarious Bodybuilder Lifts Spirits

November 14, 2016 12:00 pm
Hilarious Bodybuilder Lifts Spirits
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Disappointing Chelsea Performance Only Matched By My Disappointment With My Ex-Girlfriend, Chelsea

September 26, 2016 12:00 pm
Disappointing Chelsea Performance Only Matched By My Disappointment With My Ex-Girlfriend, Chelsea

Saturday, Chelsea suffered a humiliating defeat against Premier League rivals Arsenal, giving up 3 goals before halftime and failing to materialize any sort of counterattack during the second half. This defeat is particularly demoralizing after Chelsea’s defeat last week, and is as disappointing as when my then-girlfriend Chelsea refused to […]

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Nike Launches “Just Shoe It” Campaign

May 31, 2016 12:00 pm
Nike Launches “Just Shoe It” Campaign

Following a year of low sales, Nike Inc. has announced a new advertising campaign. It will feature a new and exciting direction for the company. The company’s new direction is typified by the slogan “Just Shoe It”. The campaign lets consumers know they can purchase Nike-brand shoes. “We decided to […]

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Brilliant Young Professor About To Get Nailed By Football

May 23, 2016 12:00 pm
Brilliant Young Professor About To Get Nailed By Football

STANFORD – Professor Mitchell Eisenberg is one of the world’s top experts in neural networks, but he’s so much more than a brilliant computer scientist. He founded a startup that teaches computer science to impoverished youths. He’s an expert on 20th century American history. And he’s about to get nailed […]

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Jim Harbaugh Extends Scholarship Offer to Embryo

12:00 pm
Jim Harbaugh Extends Scholarship Offer to Embryo

ANN ARBOR, MI – Fresh off of the news that Alabama head coach Nick Saban had extended a scholarship offer to Florida eighth grader Jesus Machado, Jim Harbaugh of the University of Michigan immediately announced that he had reserved a roster spot on the 2035 Wolverines roster for the embryo […]

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