Obama Considers ’85 Bears Defense To Head Homeland Security

November 20, 2008 4:16 pm
Obama Considers ’85 Bears Defense To Head Homeland Security
Read more ›

Senator Ted Stevens Launders Some Money To Buy Toiletries

November 14, 2008 12:12 am
Senator Ted Stevens Launders Some Money To Buy Toiletries
Read more ›

Palin Retreats To Winter Lair

November 8, 2008 9:39 pm
Palin Retreats To Winter Lair
Read more ›

Barack Obama Gets A Sex Change; US Has First Black and Female President

9:06 pm
Barack Obama Gets A Sex Change; US Has First Black and Female President

By Dorothy Cranard WASHINGTON D.C–In order to continue his message of change, Barack Obama got a sex change yesterday to give the country its first black president, its first female president, and its first president who has received a sex change. “Like I told the people,” said Obama in his […]

Read more ›

Obama’s First Presidential Action To Get, Walk New Puppy

9:04 pm
Obama’s First Presidential Action To Get, Walk New Puppy

In an unexpected course of events, president elect Barack Obama has already started making presidential decisions. Last Wednesday, just one day after being elected, Obama announced that for his first act as president he will bring change to the White House by ousting the Bush’s dog Barney. “The people of […]

Read more ›

Obama Wins, Palin Says “Gosh Darnit”

9:03 pm
Obama Wins, Palin Says “Gosh Darnit”
Read more ›

Obama Credits Victory To Power Thumb

9:02 pm
Obama Credits Victory To Power Thumb
Read more ›

America’s Balls Shrink 40% After Obama Victory, GOP’s Worst Fears Confirmed

8:58 pm
America’s Balls Shrink 40% After Obama Victory, GOP’s Worst Fears Confirmed

True to the predictions of several conservative pundits and bloggers, electing the progressive, thoughtful Barack Obama has taken its toll on the nation’s collective cojones, which have been shrinking considerably since November 4th. Urologist Alan Yanofsky examined the emasculated country in a routine, post-election check-up. “It seems a lack of […]

Read more ›

Historic Presidential Firsts

8:55 pm
Historic Presidential Firsts

Barack Obama, president-elect of the United States, released on Sunday his schedule for the first day of his term as president, which will go down in history as a truly historic day. Items on his schedule include: First African-American Presidential Breakfast First African-American Presidential Tooth Brushing First African-American Presidential Morning […]

Read more ›

Vice Presidential Adult Film Helps McCain’s Ratings Within Niche Porn Demographic

October 25, 2008 10:01 pm
Vice Presidential Adult Film Helps McCain’s Ratings Within Niche Porn Demographic

The San Jose Mercury News reported Friday that porn kingpin Larry Flynt is in the process of finishing the final touches to his latest porn video starring Palin look-alike Lisa Ann. The film titled “Nailin Paylin” is set to hit porn shops before the November election and is said to […]

Read more ›