Obama Credits Victory To Power Thumb

November 8, 2008 9:02 pm
Obama Credits Victory To Power Thumb
Read more ›

America’s Balls Shrink 40% After Obama Victory, GOP’s Worst Fears Confirmed

8:58 pm
America’s Balls Shrink 40% After Obama Victory, GOP’s Worst Fears Confirmed

True to the predictions of several conservative pundits and bloggers, electing the progressive, thoughtful Barack Obama has taken its toll on the nation’s collective cojones, which have been shrinking considerably since November 4th. Urologist Alan Yanofsky examined the emasculated country in a routine, post-election check-up. “It seems a lack of […]

Read more ›

Historic Presidential Firsts

8:55 pm
Historic Presidential Firsts

Barack Obama, president-elect of the United States, released on Sunday his schedule for the first day of his term as president, which will go down in history as a truly historic day. Items on his schedule include: First African-American Presidential Breakfast First African-American Presidential Tooth Brushing First African-American Presidential Morning […]

Read more ›

Vice Presidential Adult Film Helps McCain’s Ratings Within Niche Porn Demographic

October 25, 2008 10:01 pm
Vice Presidential Adult Film Helps McCain’s Ratings Within Niche Porn Demographic

The San Jose Mercury News reported Friday that porn kingpin Larry Flynt is in the process of finishing the final touches to his latest porn video starring Palin look-alike Lisa Ann. The film titled “Nailin Paylin” is set to hit porn shops before the November election and is said to […]

Read more ›

Presidential Debate Ends In “Because I Said So”

October 12, 2008 2:08 am
Presidential Debate Ends In “Because I Said So”
Read more ›

Congress Rejects Bailout Plan For Inmate #36788

October 8, 2008 6:19 pm
Congress Rejects Bailout Plan For Inmate #36788

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a move that critics around the nation are calling “preposterous”, Congress rejected a bailout plan for inmate number 36788 of the Arlington County Jail. Inmate number 36788 has been in the Arlington County Jail for fifteen years now, serving a sentence for murder, money laundering, and curfew violation. […]

Read more ›

Debate Moderator Releases Pro-Obama Questions

6:03 pm
Debate Moderator Releases Pro-Obama Questions
Read more ›