Op Ed: I Stepped On Donald Trump While Time Traveling And Now A Butterfly Is The President

January 30, 2017 12:00 pm
Op Ed: I Stepped On Donald Trump While Time Traveling And Now A Butterfly Is The President
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Democrat Who Just Showed Up To First Protest Doesn’t Understand Why Its Platform Is Different From His

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Hundreds gather at Daley Plaza for an anti-Trump rally on Inauguration Day, Jan. 20, 2017. | Ashlee Rezin/Sun-Times

Reports have come in that during one of the many rallies that took place over the past two weeks, sophomore Junior Milicic “really gave it a shot, guys,” but was confused by the presence of demands not directly consistent with those of the Democratic Party. “I got to the protest, […]

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Trump Family Dog Somehow Also Terrible

January 23, 2017 12:00 pm
Trump Family Dog Somehow Also Terrible
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Nation Nervously Looks On As Trump Appoints Horse To Senate, Takes Up Fiddle

January 20, 2017 12:00 pm
Nation Nervously Looks On As Trump Appoints Horse To Senate, Takes Up Fiddle

Growing more uneasy with the decision each passing day, Washington insiders have reported that Trump declared his intent to replace Rand Paul (R-KY) with his purebred stallion, Amazing Horse, after Paul’s decision to vote against the Republican party line on a healthcare initiative. This news is worryingly timed, as leading […]

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My Sunday Afternoon With Vice President Elect Mike Pence

January 17, 2017 12:00 pm
My Sunday Afternoon With Vice President Elect Mike Pence

We began the day with a light stroll through the farmer’s market down the road. I wanted to hold his hand, but he held them behind his back for the entire forty-five minutes.  I picked up some ingredients for snacks on the picnic we had planned, and only Mike’s favorites: […]

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Quote of the Week 1/16/17

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Quote of the Week 1/16/17

“No way Donald Trump’s gonna drain that swamp” — Swamp Monster, cocking shotgun

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