Donald Trump Releases Tax Returns Into The Everglades

March 13, 2017 12:00 pm
Donald Trump Releases Tax Returns Into The Everglades

After months of controversy and evasion, President Donald Trump has finally released his tax returns into the tranquil groves of the Florida wetlands. Though the tax returns’ precise location has been kept classified to prevent further disturbance of the surrounding habitat, accounting experts assured reporters that the newly freed tax […]

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Trump Trades Nuclear Codes For Sweet Katana

March 11, 2017 9:54 am
Trump Trades Nuclear Codes For Sweet Katana
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Russia Behind Everything You Want To Happen, Everything You Don’t Want To Happen

March 6, 2017 12:00 pm
Russia Behind Everything You Want To Happen, Everything You Don’t Want To Happen

The Russian government has released a statement today, explaining that they are behind every single thing that you wanted to happen, and also behind all of the things you don’t want to happen too. From supporting our current far-right government, to backing the dissident actions of civil rights and labor […]

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Report: Trump’s Actual Skin Quite Thin Too

February 27, 2017 12:00 pm
Report: Trump’s Actual Skin Quite Thin Too

WASHINGTON D.C. – In addition to reports of Donald Trump having “too thin skin” because of his impulsive retaliations on Twitter against any sort of criticism, a recently leaked account of the president’s last checkup has revealed that his actual skin is quite thin too. It’s stretched so precariously over […]

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Ruth Bader Ginsburg Secretly Ruth Gator Binsborg, Alligator Cyber Woman

February 21, 2017 12:00 pm
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Secretly Ruth Gator Binsborg, Alligator Cyber Woman
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Trump Threatens To Bomb Country That NPR Is From

February 13, 2017 12:00 pm
Trump Threatens To Bomb Country That NPR Is From

After a security briefing marked by screaming, jumping jacks, and heavy breathing, Trump has demanded that the military “find whichever country, the one that NPR is in, and bomb the crap out of them.” Proceeding to rant about it on Twitter, Trump emphasized the need to deliver violent justice to […]

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