Man Dressed As Pumpkin Didn’t Do A Very Good Job

October 30, 2017 12:00 pm
Man Dressed As Pumpkin Didn’t Do A Very Good Job

Area man Harry Kravitz dressed as a pumpkin confused friends and acquaintances this Halloween weekend, as his costume barely hit the mark. Clad in dark baggy pants, a puffy white shirt and a curved metal hook as a hand replacement, he barely resembled a pumpkin at all. “I am dressed […]

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Man Drinking Soylent Has No Time For Childish Frivolities Like Solid Food

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Man Drinking Soylent Has No Time For Childish Frivolities Like Solid Food

STANFORD, CA — Monday at 9:26am, senior Computer Science major Waldorf Panderlin was seen biking across main quad, gulping Soylent from a 2-liter bottle on his way to CS 103. “No time!” he shrieked at our Flipside field reporter when asked to comment. More bags of powdered foodstuffs were visible […]

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Bagless Trashcan Just Gonna Raw-Dog It

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Bagless Trashcan Just Gonna Raw-Dog It
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Pro Bono Lawyer Wishes U2 Bandleader Would Stop Punching Cops

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Pro Bono Lawyer Wishes U2 Bandleader Would Stop Punching Cops
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Ask Smeg The Undying, Soldier And Disciple Of The Flame

October 26, 2017 11:07 am
Ask Smeg The Undying, Soldier And Disciple Of The Flame

Dear Smeg the Undying, I absolutely loved my freshman dorm, but I’m worried that I won’t be able to keep in touch with my friends from last year as much as I’d like to, which actually isn’t that much. Do you have any tips on staying connected with friends? – […]

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Marc Tessier-Lavigne Revealed to be Hooked to Cryogenic Vat Between Speeches

October 24, 2017 12:00 pm
Marc Tessier-Lavigne Revealed to be Hooked to Cryogenic Vat Between Speeches

In a press conference that has stunned students and wowed the scientific community, Stanford Provost Persis Drell confirmed this weekend that school president Marc Tessier-Lavigne is kept preserved in a cryogenic vat between speeches, only emerging from his ungodly slumber for intermittent public appearances. “It’s basically a Winter Soldier-type deal,” […]

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Local Frat Brother Concerned After Nor Cal Fires Rage Through Wine Country

October 23, 2017 12:00 pm
Local Frat Brother Concerned After Nor Cal Fires Rage Through Wine Country

Stating that he was “totally distraught” after hearing about how the Northern California fires had destroyed homes and lives in numerous towns and cities including many wine-growing regions, Kyle Brosner, a junior and notorious frat star,  called an emergency meeting of all the brothers of his fraternity. “I’m sure you […]

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Outrageous: This Lazy Susan Is Receiving Welfare Handouts Meant for Hard-Working American Cabinets

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Outrageous: This Lazy Susan Is Receiving Welfare Handouts Meant for Hard-Working American Cabinets

Chalk this one up to another win for the socialist left, folks: according to reports coming in from Detroit, MI, a lazy susan continues to receive welfare benefits from big government even though it hasn’t made an effort to seek employment and wasn’t even born in the U.S. Disgusting! That […]

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Film Flub: If Stranger Things Takes Place in 1983, Then Why Do None of the Characters Ever Mention the April 18th Bombing of the American Embassy in Beirut?

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Film Flub: If Stranger Things Takes Place in 1983, Then Why Do None of the Characters Ever Mention the April 18th Bombing of the American Embassy in Beirut?
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For Sale: Mister Blister

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For Sale: Mister Blister

Are you a small-to-midsize ointment supplier looking to take your business in an exciting new direction? Do you sell lotions, online or door-to-door, but want to develop a more cohesive brand identity? Have you always dreamt of creating an icon as recognizable as Tony the Tiger or the Geico Gecko? […]

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