Journalist Wants To Take Acute Angle For Next Article

November 16, 2008 7:52 pm
Journalist Wants To Take Acute Angle For Next Article
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Senator Ted Stevens Launders Some Money To Buy Toiletries

November 14, 2008 12:12 am
Senator Ted Stevens Launders Some Money To Buy Toiletries
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Palin Retreats To Winter Lair

November 8, 2008 9:39 pm
Palin Retreats To Winter Lair
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Barack Obama Gets A Sex Change; US Has First Black and Female President

9:06 pm
Barack Obama Gets A Sex Change; US Has First Black and Female President

By Dorothy Cranard WASHINGTON D.C–In order to continue his message of change, Barack Obama got a sex change yesterday to give the country its first black president, its first female president, and its first president who has received a sex change. “Like I told the people,” said Obama in his […]

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Obama’s First Presidential Action To Get, Walk New Puppy

9:04 pm
Obama’s First Presidential Action To Get, Walk New Puppy

In an unexpected course of events, president elect Barack Obama has already started making presidential decisions. Last Wednesday, just one day after being elected, Obama announced that for his first act as president he will bring change to the White House by ousting the Bush’s dog Barney. “The people of […]

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Obama Wins, Palin Says “Gosh Darnit”

9:03 pm
Obama Wins, Palin Says “Gosh Darnit”
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Obama Credits Victory To Power Thumb

9:02 pm
Obama Credits Victory To Power Thumb
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Opinion: “I Demand A Recount”

9:01 pm
Opinion: “I Demand A Recount”

By Frank the Disgruntled McCain Supporter Do you really think the U.S. just elected Barack Obama as President? Come on, America- let’s think again. This is obviously impossible. The only way Obama could have beaten John McCain would have been by using dirty techniques to rig the election. The voters […]

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America’s Balls Shrink 40% After Obama Victory, GOP’s Worst Fears Confirmed

8:58 pm
America’s Balls Shrink 40% After Obama Victory, GOP’s Worst Fears Confirmed

True to the predictions of several conservative pundits and bloggers, electing the progressive, thoughtful Barack Obama has taken its toll on the nation’s collective cojones, which have been shrinking considerably since November 4th. Urologist Alan Yanofsky examined the emasculated country in a routine, post-election check-up. “It seems a lack of […]

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Students Steal Bikes To Be Resold For Charity

8:56 pm
Students Steal Bikes To Be Resold For Charity

Last week’s Gumball Challenge inspired many Stanford students to get out of bed and make some money. Receiving a loan of $27 along with 27 gumballs, students tried to make as much money as possible for charity. Students did everything from reselling In-N-Out burgers to doing laundry for other kids […]

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