Obama Wins, Palin Says “Gosh Darnit”

November 8, 2008 9:03 pm
Obama Wins, Palin Says “Gosh Darnit”
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Obama Credits Victory To Power Thumb

9:02 pm
Obama Credits Victory To Power Thumb
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Opinion: “I Demand A Recount”

9:01 pm
Opinion: “I Demand A Recount”

By Frank the Disgruntled McCain Supporter Do you really think the U.S. just elected Barack Obama as President? Come on, America- let’s think again. This is obviously impossible. The only way Obama could have beaten John McCain would have been by using dirty techniques to rig the election. The voters […]

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America’s Balls Shrink 40% After Obama Victory, GOP’s Worst Fears Confirmed

8:58 pm
America’s Balls Shrink 40% After Obama Victory, GOP’s Worst Fears Confirmed

True to the predictions of several conservative pundits and bloggers, electing the progressive, thoughtful Barack Obama has taken its toll on the nation’s collective cojones, which have been shrinking considerably since November 4th. Urologist Alan Yanofsky examined the emasculated country in a routine, post-election check-up. “It seems a lack of […]

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Students Steal Bikes To Be Resold For Charity

8:56 pm
Students Steal Bikes To Be Resold For Charity

Last week’s Gumball Challenge inspired many Stanford students to get out of bed and make some money. Receiving a loan of $27 along with 27 gumballs, students tried to make as much money as possible for charity. Students did everything from reselling In-N-Out burgers to doing laundry for other kids […]

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Historic Presidential Firsts

8:55 pm
Historic Presidential Firsts

Barack Obama, president-elect of the United States, released on Sunday his schedule for the first day of his term as president, which will go down in history as a truly historic day. Items on his schedule include: First African-American Presidential Breakfast First African-American Presidential Tooth Brushing First African-American Presidential Morning […]

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Mother Nature Apologizes To Bay Area For Rain

2:11 pm
Mother Nature Apologizes To Bay Area For Rain
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Bad Economy Leads to Poor ‘Trick or Treat’ Candy Selection

November 1, 2008 11:18 pm
Bad Economy Leads to Poor ‘Trick or Treat’ Candy Selection
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Facebook Adds New “It’s Abusive” Relationship Category



9:49 pm
Facebook Adds New “It’s Abusive” Relationship Category



FACEBOOK HEADQUARTERS–After much deliberation and mixed reviews of the “New Facebook,” Founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg sought to make things right with users through the addition of the new “It’s Abusive” relationship status.
    The move has been hailed by the majority of Facebook users as a “step back in the […]

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Opinion: “I Know Why The Mausoleum Party Was Moved—Those Dead People Were Coming Alive”

9:45 pm
Opinion: “I Know Why The Mausoleum Party Was Moved—Those Dead People Were Coming Alive”

Some of you may just think I’m your average conspiracy theorist, but that is certainly not the case. I have some reliable inside scoop here, but I won’t tell you exactly where I got the information from (the spirits).
     First let me dispel some of the overriding theories for […]

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