Report: Campus Rocked by Exploding-Butt-Related Deaths

February 21, 2017 12:00 pm
Report: Campus Rocked by Exploding-Butt-Related Deaths

Stanford, CA – For months, the question of why so many people have died from their butts exploding has perplexed experts. In an in-depth report, we finally take a look at why the butts are exploding, how they’re exploding, and the impact the butt explosions have had on our community. […]

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A Treatise On The Giving Me Of Your Lunch Money

February 13, 2017 12:00 pm
A Treatise On The Giving Me Of Your Lunch Money

It has now become evident that, since we last spoke, our open correspondence has deteriorated significantly. Perchance your dumb loser head is having trouble comprehending the predicament that we have found ourselves in. As such, I hope that you realize that I am trying to do the noble thing here […]

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Trump Family Probably Actually Just A Set of Russian Nesting Dolls

February 9, 2017 12:00 pm
Trump Family Probably Actually Just A Set of Russian Nesting Dolls

Recently, news sources have been claiming that there may finally be an explanation to all of the peculiarities to the Trump family and administration—the Trump family is actually just a set of Russian nesting dolls. Supporters of this theory argue that this is why Trump wants to keep his children […]

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Experts Suggest ‘Alternative Facts’ Fad Will Soon Give Way To ‘Indie Facts’

February 7, 2017 12:00 pm
Experts Suggest ‘Alternative Facts’ Fad Will Soon Give Way To ‘Indie Facts’

After much controversy surrounding the Trump administration’s embracement of ‘alternative facts’, sociologists at Stanford have concluded that this new troubling fad will eventually give way to ‘indie facts’, which will generally be much more interesting and pleasant. Although alternative facts are all the rage right now, experts have concluded that […]

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Whistleblower Swarmed by Dogs

February 6, 2017 12:00 pm
Whistleblower Swarmed by Dogs
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Power-Mad Weatherman Refuses to Hand It Back to Tom at the News Desk

12:00 pm
Power-Mad Weatherman Refuses to Hand It Back to Tom at the News Desk
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