FDA Insists Massive Snake Oil Spill Won’t Do Anything

April 10, 2017 12:00 pm
FDA Insists Massive Snake Oil Spill Won’t Do Anything
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Environmentally Conscientious Student Feels Completely Comfortable Wasting Water Now That Drought Is Finally Over

February 8, 2017 9:00 am
Environmentally Conscientious Student Feels Completely Comfortable Wasting Water Now That Drought Is Finally Over

Reporting that exacerbating the possibility of a relapse into a widespread agricultural and public health crisis incurs absolutely no personal guilt, Stanford student Jack Rogers (Earth Sys ‘18) told multiple sources that he feels completely comfortable wasting water now that Northern California’s recent severe water shortage has been over for […]

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Endangered Rainforest Canopy Bird “Unfortunately Delicious”

January 10, 2017 12:00 pm
Endangered Rainforest Canopy Bird “Unfortunately Delicious”
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“The horror, the horror!” – Students Recount Catastrophic Drizzle

October 17, 2016 12:00 pm
A man dressed in a shirt and tie with his hands on his head look to the sky in frustration in the pouring rain 

Black Background,Outdoors,Caucasian,Isolated,Business,Businessman,Men,Male,People,Working,Office,Office Place,Adult,Concepts,Rain,Protection,Uncertainty,weather,daytime,day,daylight,shine, pouring,life,hopeless, upset, wet, forces of nature, shirt, tie, defeated, soaked, soaking wet, rain drops, washed up, washed out, drenched, despondant, storm, defeated, frustration

The room is undecorated, apart from a poster on the wall advertising an upcoming a capella concert. A circle of collapsible chairs sit under a single ceiling light – they are filled by students struggling to make sense of the events that took place. Faces are stained equally with rain […]

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Idiot Freshman Thinks Tap Water Safe to Drink

October 10, 2016 12:00 pm
Idiot Freshman Thinks Tap Water Safe to Drink
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Persimmons in Dining Hall Put Confusion Into Student Heads

12:00 pm
Persimmons in Dining Hall Put Confusion Into Student Heads

At around 11:45am on Oct 5th, reports began flowing in from Arrillaga Dining that some things called ‘persimmons’ had started to appear in large silver bowls throughout the dining hall. The emergence of this strange orange fruit(?), about the size of a tomato, has left the campus in shambles, placing […]

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