Persimmons in Dining Hall Put Confusion Into Student Heads

October 10, 2016 12:00 pm
Persimmons in Dining Hall Put Confusion Into Student Heads

At around 11:45am on Oct 5th, reports began flowing in from Arrillaga Dining that some things called ‘persimmons’ had started to appear in large silver bowls throughout the dining hall. The emergence of this strange orange fruit(?), about the size of a tomato, has left the campus in shambles, placing […]

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We Asked 5 Squirrels At Stanford “Why Do You Want To Go Into Tech” Because That Is What Our Magazine Is About

May 23, 2016 12:02 pm
We Asked 5 Squirrels At Stanford “Why Do You Want To Go Into Tech” Because That Is What Our Magazine Is About

    Samantha: I love cross-platform cloud-based computing. I want to make the world a better, more connected place through smart tech. Also, I am a squirrel, a type of rodent.   James: I forage for nuts all day, even though there are very few nut-bearing trees here. My 18 […]

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Railing Gets Thrill Out Of Hot, Sweaty Hands All Over It

May 16, 2016 12:00 pm
Railing Gets Thrill Out Of Hot, Sweaty Hands All Over It

Vibrating intensely with anticipation, a stairway railing in Huang Engineering Center reportedly waited eagerly for the young, sweaty feel of students’ hands all over it following Thursday’s Physics 43 lecture. “Oh, I just love this,” whispered the metal railing, shaking slightly as students’ footsteps rang loudly on the floor below. […]

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Drought Ends Just in Time for Admit Weekend

April 25, 2016 12:00 pm
Drought Ends Just in Time for Admit Weekend

STANFORD, CA – After five years of alarmingly low levels of rain water that left California in a state of emergency, the drought was said to be no match for Stanford’s Admit Weekend. Witnesses mentioned that the bare bone reservoirs of Shasta, Oroville and Folsom were immediately filled back up […]

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Op-Ed: In Other News, Sea-Monkeys Fucking Disgusting

January 26, 2016 9:00 am
Op-Ed: In Other News, Sea-Monkeys Fucking Disgusting

In Flint, Michigan citizens have been drinking toxic water to the extreme detriment of their health and wellbeing. On the East Coast, Winter Storm Jonas has brought heavy snow and dangerous wintry conditions. And on Fox, the rave sci-fi TV series “The X-Files” has returned to mostly lukewarm reviews from […]

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Gecko “primed” for FMOTQ

October 26, 2015 12:00 pm
Gecko “primed” for FMOTQ
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