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Environment

Sustainability Group Calls it Quits After Depleting Resources

Sustainability Group Calls it Quits After Depleting Resources
Since 1892, The Sierra Club has operated as a staunch advocate for environmental interests, sustainability, and responsible stewardship. Last week, however, members of the famous non-profit were stunned...
February 27th, 2012

Report: The Environment is Destroying the Environment

Report: The Environment is Destroying the Environment
For years, environmental scientists blamed anthropogenic CO2 emissions for destroying the environment. However, a recent study by researchers at Stanford University found that the environment is itself...
May 22nd, 2011

OPINION: Earth Day Perpetuates a Cycle of Planetary Discrimination

OPINION: Earth Day Perpetuates a Cycle of Planetary Discrimination
Every April 22, thousands come together to “celebrate the beauty of the planet we call home.” But while our precious “environmentalists” promote their ever so special “Earth Day,” they are...
May 12th, 2011

Jell-O Seismic Detection System Goes Into Effect

Jell-O Seismic Detection System Goes Into Effect
In light of the recent catastrophic earthquake and tsunami in Japan, Stanford’s Geophysics department has placed giant vats of Kraft Jell-O at various locations around campus. The initiative, spearheaded...
May 1st, 2011

United States Apologizes For Dropping Tsunami On Japan

United States Apologizes For Dropping Tsunami On Japan
After much international pressure, The United States apologized for their use of Tsunamis on Japan, causing many issues with radiation. The United States thought it was an appropriate retaliatory measure...
April 4th, 2011

Parents Still Really Amazed by the Potato Forks for Some Reason

Parents Still Really Amazed by the Potato Forks for Some Reason
Freshman Katie Swimmer took her parents to the Treehouse for lunch last weekend, but she couldn’t stop her parents from commenting on the potato forks they used to eat their meal. “They just...
March 1st, 2011

Nation’s Hipsters Now Unsure How They Feel About Arcade Fire

Nation’s Hipsters Now Unsure How They Feel About Arcade Fire
In the wake of Arcade Fire’s “The Suburbs” winning album of the year at this year’s Grammys, the nation’s hipster community is reeling as it is forced to reevaluate its opinion of the...
February 20th, 2011

L’Oreal Unveils “Eco-Poo,” New Line of Fair-Trade, Gluten-Free, Feng-Shui Shampoo

L’Oreal Unveils “Eco-Poo,” New Line of Fair-Trade, Gluten-Free, Feng-Shui Shampoo
With environmental consciousness on the rise throughout the United States, product engineers at L’Oreal have resorted to extreme measures to tailor their shampoo to the eco-friendly. According...
January 14th, 2011

Stanford to Meet Electricity, Heating Needs by Harnessing President Hennessy’s Raw Sexual Energy

Stanford to Meet Electricity, Heating Needs by Harnessing President Hennessy’s Raw Sexual Energy
In an effort to remain a leader in environmental sustainability, Stanford has announced plans to capture and use University President John Hennessy’s raw sexual energy to meet the campus’s ever-growing...
November 28th, 2010

Solar Flares Erupt After Sun Stops Proactiv Regimen

Solar Flares Erupt After Sun Stops Proactiv Regimen
A few centuries ago, the sun decided to stop using Proactiv products on its surface because he “didn’t feel that they were really making any noticeable difference.” For a while, the sun’s...
November 17th, 2010
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