Wow! CERN Just Announced Their Newest Particle, and Its Latino

March 13, 2017 12:00 pm
Wow! CERN Just Announced Their Newest Particle, and Its Latino

Science alert! CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, just announced their newest particle. And good news, folks – it’s Latino! “This is the first particle we’ve announced that’s ethnically of latin origins”, announced Director-General Fabiola Gianotti in a weekly press briefing. “So far none of the atomic and subatomic […]

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Quote of the Week 3/13

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Quote of the Week 3/13

“Beer!” – Frat (Iula)

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Joseph Gorgon Levitt Turns Hearts to Mush, Rest of Bodies to Stone

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Joseph Gorgon Levitt Turns Hearts to Mush, Rest of Bodies to Stone
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Area Coach Reminds Team That There Is One Meat In “Team”

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Area Coach Reminds Team That There Is One Meat In “Team”
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Donald Trump Releases Tax Returns Into The Everglades

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Donald Trump Releases Tax Returns Into The Everglades

After months of controversy and evasion, President Donald Trump has finally released his tax returns into the tranquil groves of the Florida wetlands. Though the tax returns’ precise location has been kept classified to prevent further disturbance of the surrounding habitat, accounting experts assured reporters that the newly freed tax […]

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Russian Oligarch “Totally Fine” With Putin Seeing Other Businessmen

March 11, 2017 9:57 am
Russian Oligarch “Totally Fine” With Putin Seeing Other Businessmen

Russian oil tycoon Dmitri Spirakov, multi-billionaire and shadow operator of the Russian state, has announced that he “has absolutely no problem” with President Vladimir Putin seeing other corrupt magnates too. “No, no, it’s totally fine with me”, commented the massively wealthy petroleum baron. “Putin has been very clear that ours […]

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