Stuff White People Like #126: Fraiche

May 11, 2009 10:33 pm
Stuff White People Like #126: Fraiche

The student approaches the counter, the visage of the Argentine revolutionary Che Guevara peeking out from behind an organic cotton tote bag. The dreams of a world without the chains of imperialism and capitalist greed are reflected in the stern gaze on his face. “It’s like, I KNOW that I’m […]

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New Pro-Life Movement Champions Rights of the Undead

10:32 pm
New Pro-Life Movement Champions Rights of the Undead

Justice For the Undead, a new advocacy group, is adding another angle to the controversial pro-life/pro-choice debate by demanding rights for those who have risen from the grave. “The undead are people too, and they want to be treated as such, regardless of their pale ashy skin color,” said JFU […]

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iSwineFlu Goes Viral on iTunes App Store

May 5, 2009 12:29 am
iSwineFlu Goes Viral on iTunes App Store

The creators of iSwineFlu have succeeded in making their app go viral. With over ten million downloads in the last two weeks, this app has been quite the hit on the iTunes store. The iSwineFlu app keeps the user informed with the latest information about the spread of the swine […]

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Waterboarding to Be Included in 2010 X-Games

12:27 am
Waterboarding to Be Included in 2010 X-Games

The ubiquitous press coverage of the Bush administration’s use of waterboarding has won Bush and Co. a handful of new supporters. Surfers, skaters, and other extreme athletes have praised waterboarding as a revolutionary innovation for those constantly seeking new thrills and challenges. “I had no idea Bush was into boarding,” […]

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Specter Finally Comes Out of the Closet

12:25 am
Specter Finally Comes Out of the Closet

WASHINGTON, DC—After serving the state of Pennsylvania for thirty years, United States Senator Arlen Specter surprised everyone when, last Monday, he announced that he would step out of the closet and join the Democratic Party. In a statement to the press, Senator Specter explained his decision: “I’ve been on Capitol […]

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How is Swine Flu Affecting Your Life?

12:07 am
How is Swine Flu Affecting Your Life?
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Stanford Implements Affirmative Action For Babes

April 28, 2009 4:39 pm
Stanford Implements Affirmative Action For Babes

Stanford University is hoping to make impressive headway on the diversity front with a new plan to reach out to its most neglected minority: babes. The initiative centers around an affirmative action program that will ease admission requirements for babes and entice them with generous financial aid packages. “This is […]

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Somali Pirates? More Like Robin Hood of the Seas

4:35 pm
Somali Pirates? More Like Robin Hood of the Seas

In an effort to clear up their less than stellar reputation, the Somali pirates issued a statement today making clear their intention to donate all goods and money gained from their pirating efforts towards very worthy cause: the Susan G. Breast Cancer Foundation. “We like to think of ourselves as […]

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Human Remains Discovered In South Stacks

April 20, 2009 11:56 pm
Human Remains Discovered In South Stacks

Michelle Stanton thought it would be a normal trip to the library. She had a slip full of call numbers and was making her way through the dark, labyrinthine shelves of books that make up the “South Stacks.” That’s when she saw what investigators now believe are the remains of […]

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Stanford Cuts Mechanical Engineering: “It’s Just Not Working”

11:53 pm
Stanford Cuts Mechanical Engineering: “It’s Just Not Working”

STANFORD, CA–Due to the recent budget cuts, Stanford has been attempting to eliminate superfluous departments around campus. In a long expected move, the university announced Monday that the Mechanical Engineering department will be cut because ME no longer has any practical applications. “It made sense,” said ME professor Paul Mitiguy, […]

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