Coming to Disney Channel: Dog With An Alt-Right Blog

June 2, 2017 11:01 am
Coming to Disney Channel: Dog With An Alt-Right Blog

Get ready, kids!  This summer, Disney Channel is pleased to bring you this year’s coolest new show, Dog With An Alt-Right Blog.  A spinoff of Dog With A Blog, this hit sitcom follows the cooky shenanigans of Lucky, the hilarious, talking golden retriever who’s determined to take down the liberal […]

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Area Mom Wants You To Know You Can Feel Comfortable Crying To Her, In Fact It’s Fun For Her

May 30, 2017 12:00 pm
Area Mom Wants You To Know You Can Feel Comfortable Crying To Her, In Fact It’s Fun For Her

CINCINATTI, OH — Enveloping your hand in hers across the dinner table, area mom wants you to know that you don’t have to worry about her – she would truly take delight in watching you cry about the state of your depressing life. “Honey, it’s okay. You don’t have to […]

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Donald Trump Uncovers Conspiracy, Insists “This One Goes All The Way to the Top”

12:00 pm
Donald Trump Uncovers Conspiracy, Insists “This One Goes All The Way to the Top”

  Gripping tightly in both hands a stack of papers that he described as “terrible stuff”, President Donald Trump gave a press briefing early yesterday morning in which he described the details of an elaborate political conspiracy he’d accidentally uncovered, going so far as to insist that it went “all […]

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Frat Boy Ensnared in Mind-Twisting Game of Alcohol-And-Dice-Table

12:00 pm
Frat Boy Ensnared in Mind-Twisting Game of Alcohol-And-Dice-Table

Earlier today, on the front lawn of Sigma Nu, one of the fraternity’s Snappa Grandmasters found himself embroiled in a match for the history books. Alex Tranner, heretofore undefeated in the many years that he has played the gentleman’s game, started the match with an uncharacteristically aggressive opening move, choosing […]

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Review: La La Land Is So Cheesy I Could Eat It On a Fondue

May 22, 2017 12:00 pm
Review: La La Land Is So Cheesy I Could Eat It On a Fondue

Charles Clifford, Cinema Critic Parmesan, cheddar, and now La La Land; if it looks like a cheese, and smells like a cheese, it’s probably a cheese. Oh what a cheesy cheese director Damien Chazelle hath fermented for moviegoers. And that’s just the start of my pan, read on below as […]

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Stanford Psychology Department Encourages Students To Respond To All Questions Using Week Numbers

12:00 pm
Stanford Psychology Department Encourages Students To Respond To All Questions Using Week Numbers

The Stanford psychology department just finished testing and now plans to implement a new pilot program that encourages students to respond to questions or incite conversation with “week numbers” in order to facilitate more successful interpersonal and peer-to-peer communication at Stanford. Fueled by a prevalent campus-wide sentiment that rigorous academics […]

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