Articles by: Vihan Lakshman

Jim Harbaugh Extends Scholarship Offer to Embryo

May 23, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Jim Harbaugh Extends Scholarship Offer to Embryo
Jim Harbaugh Extends Scholarship Offer to Embryo

ANN ARBOR, MI – Fresh off of the news that Alabama head coach Nick Saban had extended a scholarship offer to Florida eighth grader Jesus Machado, Jim Harbaugh of the University of Michigan immediately announced that he had reserved a roster spot on the 2035 Wolverines roster for the embryo […]

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Kasich Cashes in on Second-Place Bet, Promptly Drops Out

May 9, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Kasich Cashes in on Second-Place Bet, Promptly Drops Out
Kasich Cashes in on Second-Place Bet, Promptly Drops Out

COLUMBUS, OH- Following the news of Senator Ted Cruz’s decision to drop out of the Republican primary, Ohio governor John Kasich was spotted at the Port Columbus International Airport whooping at the top of his lungs. While jostling for a spot in line for the next Southwest flight to Vegas, […]

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