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Bop It Unveils Wildly Unpopular New “Suck It” Feature

March 6, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Bop It Unveils Wildly Unpopular New “Suck It” Feature
Bop It Unveils Wildly Unpopular New “Suck It” Feature

Earlier this week, Bop It, the popular Hasbro toy first unveiled in the late 1990s, received a much-needed facelift after many years of devoted service to entertaining. Joining the ranks of the classic “Bop It,” “Twist It,” and “Pull It” is the new, extremely controversial “SUCK IT” feature, which many […]

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Uh Oh: The Oscar Statue Came To Life And He’s Very, Very Horny

February 13, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Uh Oh: The Oscar Statue Came To Life And He’s Very, Very Horny
Uh Oh: The Oscar Statue Came To Life And He’s Very, Very Horny

Reports are coming in from Hollywood that the Oscar Statue, the gold-plated symbol of achievement in cinema, has come to life and is now extremely, extremely horny. The statuette, resting at 13.5 inches and weighing 8.5 lbs achieved sentience earlier today before developing an insatiable sex-drive, despite not having any […]

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Quote of the Week 1/16/17

January 17, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Quote of the Week 1/16/17
Quote of the Week 1/16/17

“No way Donald Trump’s gonna drain that swamp” — Swamp Monster, cocking shotgun

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Swedish Man Tries to Kickflip Smorgasbord

January 16, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Swedish Man Tries to Kickflip Smorgasbord
Swedish Man Tries to Kickflip Smorgasbord
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Dork Punched

12:00 pmComments Off on Dork Punched
Dork Punched
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Quote of the Week 1/9

January 10, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Quote of the Week 1/9
Quote of the Week 1/9

“Suck my nuts”  –Sucky Nuts, a children’s cartoon character that I invented, to spite my prude editors 

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Quote of the Week 12/5/16

December 5, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Quote of the Week 12/5/16
Quote of the Week 12/5/16

“Hey, Numb Nuts!” – Anesthesiologist 

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MIT Physicist-Restauranteurs Create Asian-Fusion Reactor

11:59 amComments Off on MIT Physicist-Restauranteurs Create Asian-Fusion Reactor
MIT Physicist-Restauranteurs Create Asian-Fusion Reactor
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Fake News Writers Not Sure Whether To Trust News That They Are Out Of A Job

November 28, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Fake News Writers Not Sure Whether To Trust News That They Are Out Of A Job
Fake News Writers Not Sure Whether To Trust News That They Are Out Of A Job

INTERNET — This past election cycle, a particularly contentious topic has been fake news sites, websites that intentionally provide misinformation to gullible readers on social media. Up until now, writing for a fake news site was quite easy, but reports of an increasingly cautious public has led bogus news writers […]

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Quotes of the Week 11/14

November 14, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Quotes of the Week 11/14
Quotes of the Week 11/14

“Actually, it’s not as bad as everyone says it is. In fact, it’s quite good” — Stanford Review writer on [insert any bad thing] “I’m glad we did this.” -Full Grown Adult at Rainforest Cafe, Lying.

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