Articles By: Matt Izant
Santa Ana Winds Hit Campus
December 5th, 2011
Stern Dining Voted Quietest Study Spot on Campus
November 14th, 2011
Groupon Goes Public: Buy 2 Shares Get One Free
November 7th, 2011
Canada Begins Tourism Initiative: Occupy Canada
October 31st, 2011
Stanford Builds New 400 Seat Stadium
Construction for a new football stadium will begin next week, as the Cardinal look forward to their 2010-2011 season. Although planners designed only 400 seats in the stadium, it is predicted to increase Stanford’s future BCS ranking.
“We figured that we could at least sell out half the games with...
January 9th, 2011
Hagrid Loses 130 Pounds for Latest Potter Film
In an effort to fit into the new 3D cameras, Hagrid was forced to start dieting early this year. While many movie-goers are unlikely to notice the difference, Hagrid claims the benefits of his decisions are enormous.
“Now I can touch my palm with my fingers and sit down without farting.”
Other...
November 20th, 2010
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Today is National Dress Like a Muggle Day
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Issue 117 Puzzles
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Nation Prepares for All-Out Sex Party in Wake of Obama Announcement
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