Ron Paul Traded to the Clippers

December 15th, 2011

Stanford University to Apply Early Decision to the United Nations

On Wednesday, Stanford University announced that it would be applying early decision to the United Nations class of 2016. With more Olympic medals, more Nobel laureates, and a larger endowment than most countries, Stanford believes it is finally time for the world to recognize its national aspirations....

November 10th, 2011

Occupy Occupy Occupy Occupy Occupy Occupy Stanford

Mark Gruelle realized one morning that fewer than 1% of Stanford students were in the Occupy Stanford movement, so he decided to protest, representing the 99% of Stanford students who think the Occupy Stanford is stupid. He got even less people to join his Occupy Occupy Stanford movement, leading Mary...

November 9th, 2011

BREAKING NEWS: Andrew Luck Discovers Maternal Grandmother is Jewish, Will Not Play on Yom Kippur

Like all great Jewish athletes before him, all one of them, Andrew Luck will choose not to play against Colorado this Saturday because it is the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur. The athlete announced his recent discovery at a news conference Tuesday night. “Some of you may have noticed that I have...

October 6th, 2011

Report: The Environment is Destroying the Environment

For years, environmental scientists blamed anthropogenic CO2 emissions for destroying the environment. However, a recent study by researchers at Stanford University found that the environment is itself to blame for much of the destruction to the environment. Hurricanes, forest fires, earthquakes, and...

May 22nd, 2011

Wellness Room Sex Scandal Stressing Everybody Out

An independent investigation conducted by the Stanford Flipside has found that the Wellness Room is actually a cover for a fetish-themed sex motel. A room with multicolored beanbags and fingerpaint to “eliminate stress?” Let’s get real. Suspicions have existed since its inception that the Wellness...

April 29th, 2011

Flipside Staff Member Shell-Shocked to Find She’s Been Writing For a Satirical Newspaper

Flipside Staff member Penelope Peterson first learned Sunday that she was writing for a satirical newspaper, and not an actual newspaper. “You mean, this is all a joke!?” Penelope exclaimed when she heard the news. Apparently, Penelope had missed all of the satire, and had taken the news stories...

March 28th, 2011

Flipside’s Actions, Words, Compete for Who Can Speak the Loudest

On Thursday, after an op-ed in the Daily accused the Flipside’s Actions of not speaking loudly enough, an argument about who could speak louder erupted in the Flipside offices between Actions and Words. The argument immediately escalated both in terms of volume and violence. Actions, for some...

February 27th, 2011

Study Finds People Who Live Longer Are More Likely to Die

A research team at Johns Hopkins University has found that there is a high correlation between long life and death. “It’s a unique situation,” says team leader Dr. Stefan Walters. “You would think that people who live long lives are healthy, but these people are dying all over the place.” Last...

October 17th, 2010

Forget the News: Media to Report the Actions of Small Town Nutjobs

With the spectacular ratings generated by Gainseville, Florida pastor Terry Jones and the Koran burning controversy, media organizations have increasingly shifted their focus to other small town nutjobs. CNN correspondent Jamie Nussbaum found a deranged paleontologist in Toulon, Nevada, who is planning...

September 17th, 2010