Articles by: Joe Bosetti

Try-Hard to Increase Margins, Shrink Font to Satisfy Final Paper Max Page Count

June 4, 2018 12:00 pmComments Off on Try-Hard to Increase Margins, Shrink Font to Satisfy Final Paper Max Page Count
frustrated with problems young business man working on laptop computer at home

According to multiple sources in Lantana, sophomore Toby Maxwell has expressed his concern that his paper’s page count would not fall within the bounds his professor set for a course on convolutional neural networks.  “I totally feel your struggle right now,” Toby said to some of his fellow dorm-mates, who […]

Read more ›

MTL’s Vision for a Hotter Stanford

May 28, 2018 11:59 amComments Off on MTL’s Vision for a Hotter Stanford
MTL’s Vision for a Hotter Stanford

Noting that Stanford “focuses too much on that nerdy jazz,” University President Marc Tessier Lavigne announced in his “Vision for Stanford 2018,” that his main goal for the coming year is to increase the attractiveness of the student population.   “We’ve already got the quickest computers and the oldest books,” […]

Read more ›

An Ode to My Five-Bladed Razor

January 16, 2018 12:00 pmComments Off on An Ode to My Five-Bladed Razor
An Ode to My Five-Bladed Razor

To my beloved five-bladed razor, words cannot describe the longing I feel for you. I have left you behind me, back in the sweet Napa Valley in my haste to pack. You have kept me from looking like a complete hobo through good times and bad, through interviews and finals weeks, and for that […]

Read more ›

Local Frat Brother Concerned After Nor Cal Fires Rage Through Wine Country

October 23, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Local Frat Brother Concerned After Nor Cal Fires Rage Through Wine Country
Local Frat Brother Concerned After Nor Cal Fires Rage Through Wine Country

Stating that he was “totally distraught” after hearing about how the Northern California fires had destroyed homes and lives in numerous towns and cities including many wine-growing regions, Kyle Brosner, a junior and notorious frat star,  called an emergency meeting of all the brothers of his fraternity. “I’m sure you […]

Read more ›