Articles by: Gracie Newman

Faculty Senate Surprised That 50% of Students Actually Think Professors Care About Them

November 7, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Faculty Senate Surprised That 50% of Students Actually Think Professors Care About Them
Faculty Senate Surprised That 50% of Students Actually Think Professors Care About Them

After convening for their fist meeting of the year on October 27th, the Faculty Senate revealed a shocking statistic that as much as 50% of the student population are under the naive and misguided impression that the faculty care for their wellbeing. In between vague promises to implement more diversity […]

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Students Seek Guidance on Petition to Fix Defective Soft Serve Ice Cream Machine from Adjunct Professor About to Be Evicted

November 6, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Students Seek Guidance on Petition to Fix Defective Soft Serve Ice Cream Machine from Adjunct Professor About to Be Evicted
Students Seek Guidance on Petition to Fix Defective Soft Serve Ice Cream Machine from Adjunct Professor About to Be Evicted

Looking to their favorite faculty member, adjunct professor and soon to be homeless Elizabeth Emula, for guidance, Stanford students Alexa Ante ’19 and William Woolf ’20 decided last week to begin circulating a petition for RD&E to replace the unreliable soft serve machines in Wilbur Dining. “Working ice cream machines […]

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Student Not Attractive Enough for Tourists to Take Pictures Of

October 31, 2017 12:00 pmComments Off on Student Not Attractive Enough for Tourists to Take Pictures Of
Student Not Attractive Enough for Tourists to Take Pictures Of

In a devastating turn of events this weekend, sources report that sophomore Jacob Keller has finally come to the conclusion that he is too ugly for even the most eager of tourists to photograph while touring campus. Following this revelation, the chemical engineering major found it impossible to walk to […]

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