Articles by: Bill Driscoll

Op-Ed: Laugh At Yourselves, Please

June 3, 2013 1:19 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: Laugh At Yourselves, Please
Op-Ed: Laugh At Yourselves, Please

What up, flipstronauts? Graduation is upon us. As all y’all seniors finally breach the bubble and start getting paid to do things you wouldn’t otherwise spend your time doing, the Flipside has one request: please laugh at yourselves. For the last four years, grownups have told you that you’re the […]

Read more ›

Brilliant Student Checks Smartphone To Defuse Awkward Situation

May 28, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Brilliant Student Checks Smartphone To Defuse Awkward Situation
Brilliant Student Checks Smartphone To Defuse Awkward Situation

Reports have been flooding in that after a two- to three-second long lull in conversation with people she didn’t know very well, sophomore Anita Patel whipped her smartphone out of her pocket and scrutinized it with exaggerated care, immediately reassuring all parries present that the situation was not really awkward […]

Read more ›

Op-ed: Using Me Properly Doesn’t Make You Some Kind of Hotshot

May 20, 2013 12:48 pmComments Off on Op-ed: Using Me Properly Doesn’t Make You Some Kind of Hotshot
Op-ed: Using Me Properly Doesn’t Make You Some Kind of Hotshot

By: A semicolon Hi, semicolon here; you’ve probably heard of me. You’ve also probably used me to show off on numerous occasions. Yeah, I’m onto you. You think that sprinkling me in liberally throughout your essays and papers will make you look like a literary Albert Einstein. You’re pretty damn […]

Read more ›

Ask A Nostalgic Graduating Senior

12:41 pmComments Off on Ask A Nostalgic Graduating Senior
Ask A Nostalgic Graduating Senior

Dear Graduating Senior, My boyfriend says he doesn’t like it when I go with him to parties, because he feels like he can’t be himself. Is he being a jerk or am I being unreasonable? Sincerely, Resentful in Roble Dear Resentful, I feel like my first frat party was just […]

Read more ›

Flipside Literary Corner

March 4, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Flipside Literary Corner
Flipside Literary Corner

More like Nineteen-Eighty-RESED, am I right? Sometimes they say reality is scarier than fiction.  Never has that seemed truer now that Resed has started curtailing our freedoms in the name of big-brother style collectivist autocracy.  When I hear about Suites dining being shut down I can’t help but be reminded […]

Read more ›

You’re better off without him, study finds

February 25, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on You’re better off without him, study finds
You’re better off without him, study finds

A study released yesterday by an independent group of university researchers indicated that you’re better off without him, and further suggested that he was never worth your time to begin with. In justifying its conclusions, the panel noted a strong correlation between his lack of maturity and certain inexcusable actions […]

Read more ›

Op-Ed: I Can’t Believe We Are Going to Have Four More Years of Obama

January 23, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Op-Ed: I Can’t Believe We Are Going to Have Four More Years of Obama
Op-Ed: I Can’t Believe We Are Going to Have Four More Years of Obama

I’m not a strongly political person, but when I saw Barack Hussein Obama taking the oath of office for a second time Monday I couldn’t help but feel absolutely disgusted. The idea of four more years of Obama is absolutely abhorrent to me, and I believe it is dangerous for […]

Read more ›

Op-Ed: It’s Time Somebody Put to Rest the Rumors That Condi And I Are Having Warm, Delicious Sex

January 7, 2013 12:01 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: It’s Time Somebody Put to Rest the Rumors That Condi And I Are Having Warm, Delicious Sex
Op-Ed: It’s Time Somebody Put to Rest the Rumors That Condi And I Are Having Warm, Delicious Sex

By: John Hennesey Look, I’m not faulting anybody here.  I know how rumors spread.  You start with a truth, something innocent, innocuous.  Somewhere along the line, a gossipy individual adds an exaggeration, or a fabrication, a single grain of falsity.  Then somebody else follows suit and the grains start building […]

Read more ›

Straight Marriage Used as Metaphor for Gay Marriage in Mindfuck of an English 90 Story

12:00 pmComments Off on Straight Marriage Used as Metaphor for Gay Marriage in Mindfuck of an English 90 Story
Straight Marriage Used as Metaphor for Gay Marriage in Mindfuck of an English 90 Story
Read more ›

Group of Normal High School Girls Call Themselves the Craziest

December 3, 2012 12:03 pmComments Off on Group of Normal High School Girls Call Themselves the Craziest
Group of Normal High School Girls Call Themselves the Craziest

A group of friends at Glensville Township High School in Pennsylvania recently dubbed themselves “the craziest,” an assertion not backed up by the girls’ activities which are typical for their gender and age group.  The girls also asserted that “nobody has as much fun as we do,” which is also […]

Read more ›