Articles by: Sasha Maldonado

Jackson Fans Upset About Forceful Removal by Government

April 20, 2016 12:31 pmComments Off on Jackson Fans Upset About Forceful Removal by Government
Jackson Fans Upset About Forceful Removal by Government
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Paul Ryan Rejects Epic Republican Prez-Posal

April 19, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Paul Ryan Rejects Epic Republican Prez-Posal
Paul Ryan Rejects Epic Republican Prez-Posal

WASHINGTON,DC – As the Republican presidential primary has progressed onwards and members of Republican leadership struggle to come to terms with the possibility of Ted Cruz or Donald Trump being the party’s nominee, party members have increasingly lobbied popular Republican Speaker of the House Paul Ryan to take up the […]

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Rubio Nears Cruz Endorsement As tortured Soul Trapped In FL Senator Cries Out For Help

March 28, 2016 12:01 pmComments Off on Rubio Nears Cruz Endorsement As tortured Soul Trapped In FL Senator Cries Out For Help
Republican presidential candidate, Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Fla. pauses while speaking during a technology roundtable at the Switch Innovation Center, Friday, May 29, 2015, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/John Locher)

Florida senator Marco Rubio discussed the suspension of his presidential campaign last week, citing the success of his closest analogue in the campaign, Ted Cruz, as one of the reasons for his losses. Rubio remarked that the Texas senator, who has earned contempt from both parties in Congress for his […]

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Jos. A. Bank Swim Suit Collection Unpopular

January 25, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Jos. A. Bank Swim Suit Collection Unpopular
Jos. A. Bank Swim Suit Collection Unpopular
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Spongebob Not Ready, Emergency Preparedness Report Finds

January 20, 2016 10:00 amComments Off on Spongebob Not Ready, Emergency Preparedness Report Finds
Spongebob Not Ready, Emergency Preparedness Report Finds

Spongebob Squarepants, who has gained worldwide fame for proclaiming, “I’m ready!” loudly and publicly, was recently selected by FEMA as the mascot of a new federally funded campaign to promote emergency preparedness. However, the Flipside has obtained an advance copy of a report from the Bikini Bottom Department of Public […]

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Op-Ed: Your Face Makes More People Laugh Than My Comedy Ever Will, And That’s Okay

September 28, 2015 12:00 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: Your Face Makes More People Laugh Than My Comedy Ever Will, And That’s Okay
Op-Ed: Your Face Makes More People Laugh Than My Comedy Ever Will, And That’s Okay

Hi there! Friendly comedy writer Art Maxmann here. I want you to know that we put a lot of time into writing these articles, trying to give you a chuckle. And I also want you to know that I’ve accepted that no matter how hard I try to make this […]

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Op-Ed: Help, I Drew into the Local Jail!

May 28, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on Op-Ed: Help, I Drew into the Local Jail!
Op-Ed: Help, I Drew into the Local Jail!

As a freshman who recently completed the draw process for the first time, I was excited to find out where I would be living next year. Do I get to stay with my freshman year friends? Do I get to make friends with new people? Anxious to finish the draw […]

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Meyer Library Drops 50 Tons, Feels Like a Whole New Building

March 5, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on Meyer Library Drops 50 Tons, Feels Like a Whole New Building
Meyer Library Drops 50 Tons, Feels Like a Whole New Building

Meyer Library has long been mocked by students, and has often been described as one of Stanford’s most unattractive buildings, earning the unfortunate nickname “UgLi”. This past fall, however, campus fitness staff launched a long-term plan to help the elderly library transform its image and become healthier in the process. […]

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Patriots’ Balls Smaller Than Claimed

January 28, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on Patriots’ Balls Smaller Than Claimed
Patriots’ Balls Smaller Than Claimed

NFL officials published a report this past week indicating that despite being cleared by a referee before their most recent game, the New England Patriots’ balls did not meet league standards for size. Bill Belichick, Patriots head coach, refused to comment at length on the controversy, shouting “ Size doesn’t matter!” while fleeing […]

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Traffic Circle Comes Out as Clockwise

January 20, 2015 12:00 pmComments Off on Traffic Circle Comes Out as Clockwise
Traffic Circle Comes Out as Clockwise

STANFORD, CA – Putting to rest months of uncertainty, the White Plaza traffic circle has built up the confidence to reveal its true orientation. Last Thursday, the area of pavement and landscaping announced that it was, in fact, clockwise. Much of the student body met this news with tacit acceptance, […]

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