Articles by: Adam Kaplan

Op-Ed: Help, I Drew into the Local Jail!

May 28, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on Op-Ed: Help, I Drew into the Local Jail!
Op-Ed: Help, I Drew into the Local Jail!

As a freshman who recently completed the draw process for the first time, I was excited to find out where I would be living next year. Do I get to stay with my freshman year friends? Do I get to make friends with new people? Anxious to finish the draw […]

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Local Startup Hopes to Disrupt Studying

May 21, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on Local Startup Hopes to Disrupt Studying
Local Startup Hopes to Disrupt Studying

Stanford, California – Young entrepreneurs at the new startup d.Stract have released the beta-version of their new app aimed at preventing students from studying effectively. The app boasts the ability to “play annoying music, constantly send push-notifications about cat videos, and email pointless Buzzfeed-style lists in real-time.” CEO, co-founder, and […]

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Airline Offers Free Privilege-Checks for First-Class Passengers

May 8, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on Airline Offers Free Privilege-Checks for First-Class Passengers
Airline Offers Free Privilege-Checks for First-Class Passengers

Seattle, WA – Alaska Airlines continues to lead the way in the airline industry, having introduced a progressive new campaign aiming to ease the burden of their first-class flyers by allowing them to check their privilege for free. In yesterday’s public statement, the airline announced, “Here at Alaska Airlines, we […]

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Op-Ed: I can’t wait to masturbate in my own bed over Thanksgiving Break

November 21, 2014 10:00 amComments Off on Op-Ed: I can’t wait to masturbate in my own bed over Thanksgiving Break
Op-Ed: I can’t wait to masturbate in my own bed over Thanksgiving Break

I just booked my ticket home and I am so excited. I can’t wait to spend some quality time with my family over Thanksgiving, then retreat to my old room and pleasure myself while lying in the same bed I laid in during my high-school years. I miss my two […]

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