Articles by: Amy Garcia

A Message from the Flipside Seniors

June 1, 2015 12:01 pmComments Off on A Message from the Flipside Seniors
A Message from the Flipside Seniors

This is it, Class of Fif-TEEN! You haven’t heard that one in a while, but prepare yourselves for the ritualized shouting one last time. Welcome to the final stretch of ceremonies, festivities, and trying to decide if you’re going to keep the comforter you threw up on during Sophomore year. […]

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Middle Aged Man Sadly Deletes Typing, Blood-Letting from Resume

May 26, 2015 12:00 pmComments Off on Middle Aged Man Sadly Deletes Typing, Blood-Letting from Resume
Middle Aged Man Sadly Deletes Typing, Blood-Letting from Resume
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Row Houses Seek Corporate Sponsorships, To be Paid in Cups

12:00 pmComments Off on Row Houses Seek Corporate Sponsorships, To be Paid in Cups
Row Houses Seek Corporate Sponsorships, To be Paid in Cups

With the year coming to a close, a campus-wide trend has been discovered as row house residents have begun to find their kitchenware in a sorry depleted state. Looking towards the future, houses has begun to conduct meetings with Bay Area start-ups and large national companies in search of corporate […]

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National Study Discovers New Breed of “Old White Guy”: Bernie Sanders

May 6, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on National Study Discovers New Breed of “Old White Guy”: Bernie Sanders
National Study Discovers New Breed of “Old White Guy”: Bernie Sanders

Friday, the United States electorate discovered a brand new variety of person within the genus of old white men running for political office.  Old White Men, a group historically known for their position of ignorant privilege in American society, has now been found to include a unique environmentally-conscious breed known […]

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Student Overpaid on Qualtrics Survey

April 28, 2015 9:00 amComments Off on Student Overpaid on Qualtrics Survey
Student Overpaid on Qualtrics Survey

Last Thursday, an administrative glitch resulted in University researchers greatly over compensating Stanford student Michelle Ulrich for her time on a recent Qualtrics survey. On a mandatory survey that took the Branner resident approximately six minutes to complete, Ulrich was paid twenty dollars for her half-efforts in fielding soft-ball questions […]

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Woman’s Birthday Present to Herself is Showing Up Girlfriends at SoulCycle

April 20, 2015 12:00 pmComments Off on Woman’s Birthday Present to Herself is Showing Up Girlfriends at SoulCycle
Woman’s Birthday Present to Herself is Showing Up Girlfriends at SoulCycle

PALO ALTO, CA—Julia Brenner celebrated her twenty-third birthday on Sunday afternoon by taking her closest girlfriends out for a day of healthy female bonding that involved smoking those broads in a SoulCycle class. SoulCycle, a brand-name indoor cycling facility, holds a dozen spin classes a day, many of which Brenner […]

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Hairspray’s Environmental Impact Threatens Motion of the Ocean

April 13, 2015 12:00 pmComments Off on Hairspray’s Environmental Impact Threatens Motion of the Ocean
Hairspray’s Environmental Impact Threatens Motion of the Ocean
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Oak Creek Resident Eats For First Time This Quarter

March 2, 2015 12:00 pmComments Off on Oak Creek Resident Eats For First Time This Quarter
Oak Creek Resident Eats For First Time This Quarter
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African American Studies Course Schedule Limited to February

February 9, 2015 12:01 pmComments Off on African American Studies Course Schedule Limited to February
African American Studies Course Schedule Limited to February

Due to university-wide scheduling complications, this year the African and African American Studies (AFRICAAM) course offerings have been limited to Winter Quarter. More specifically, the month of February. With only 28 days at their disposal (before losing weekends and another white dude’s birthday/holiday) the department staff are clamoring to shove […]

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University of Phoenix Awards Super Bowl Players with BA in Business Administration

February 2, 2015 12:01 pmComments Off on University of Phoenix Awards Super Bowl Players with BA in Business Administration
University of Phoenix Awards Super Bowl Players with BA in Business Administration

GLENDALE, ARIZ.—Long after the fireworks and the confetti had settled on the turf, prizes still abounded for the players involved in this year’s Super Bowl. After the trophy presentation, The University of Phoenix, whose name graces the stadium in which Super Bowl XLIX was held, awarded every player with a […]

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