Man Dressed As Pumpkin Didn’t Do A Very Good Job

October 30, 2017 12:00 pm
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Man Dressed As Pumpkin Didn’t Do A Very Good Job

Area man Harry Kravitz dressed as a pumpkin confused friends and acquaintances this Halloween weekend, as his costume barely hit the mark. Clad in dark baggy pants, a puffy white shirt and a curved metal hook as a hand replacement, he barely resembled a pumpkin at all.

“I am dressed as a pirate,” says Kravitz. “I am clearly not a pumpkin.”

The outfit attempt caused Kravitz’s friends and family to grow concerned about his judgment and overall intelligence.

“I love my son,” says his mother. “But the fact that he doesn’t know what a pumpkin looks like or any clue how to put together a costume makes me feel like I have failed as a mother.”

When asked to comment, Kravitz stated, “What? Why did you bring my parents into this? Please stop doing this.”

Kravitz has had a history of bad sartorial decision making, regularly wearing flip flops outside in the fall, and small t-shirts even though he is 20 pounds removed from his high school prime. A few months back, Harry began trying out v-necks, and they are not a good look on him.

When asked about how attractive she finds Harry, Harry’s crush Darla said, “Oh damn, was he trying to be a pumpkin? That’s dumb. That’s like, really dumb. I mean he was kind of cute in a scruffy way but… I don’t know. I can’t be attracted to a guy unless I respect him.”

When asked for a final statement on the matter Kravitz wanted the public to know that, “Leave me alone! This is a legitimately good pirate costume!!”

His community hopes that next year, Kravitz will try harder.

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