In devastating news out of Burbank this past week, freshman Ken Seley has realized he is “in too deep” in his ongoing lie — initially told in an effort to be more relatable to his peers — that he watches the popular HBO series Game of Thrones.

The problem first arose on the second day of NSO when Seley was making conversation with a fellow new student. When asked whether or not he watched Game of Thrones, Seley panicked and responded with a resounding “yes” before he could stop himself.

“Honestly, that’s where everything went wrong,” Seley said. “I just kind of went along with things from then on, saying that I watched the show because I thought it would make me seem cool, since it’s really all anyone here ever talks about.”

The situation escalated from there, with the original lie leading to trivia night invites, watch parties of past seasons, and repeated instances of strangers asking Seley who he thought would ultimately end up on the Iron Throne.

“The moment I really knew the lie had gone too far was when someone started talking to me in, like, Dothraki or something?” Seley said.

As of press time, Seley was furiously reading recaps of the most recent season in an effort to talk with his dorm mates about what is now the only subject they will discuss with him.

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…