New Wine Tasting Class Teaches Students How To Intimidate People With Their Wealth

May 15, 2017 12:00 pm
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New Wine Tasting Class Teaches Students How To Intimidate People With Their Wealth

After hearing concerns that FRENLANG 60D French Viticulture, inadequately prepared students for the experience of wine-tasting in the real world, Stanford will introduce a new course that will more appropriately teach students how to bully their lessers with their carefully curated taste in fineries.
“FRENLANG 600D will introduce Stanford students to many important life skills, like how to find the most expensive wine in a restaurant after barely glancing at the menu, or how to overdress just enough to make everyone else uncomfortable,” said department director Christine Florentina. “Enrolled students will learn how to unsubtly imply that while this 1978 Merlot may be good, it doesn’t compare to the private reserve on their family’s estate.” Other course material will include how to toss Ferrari keys to a valet boy and the correct amount of eye contact to not make with wait staff.
The class will also feature field trips, including one to show up someone else’s date at a restaurant. “The idea is to make it clear to the object of your affections that their date is far, far, below their social-economic station,” said Florentina, “and that if they want to stop playing around with this gutter rat, you’ll be waiting in the S-class parked outside.”
There will be a fee required in order to enroll in the class, but all attempts to find out more about it are met with a flat “if you have to ask, you can’t afford it”.

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