Report: Local Satire Paper Missed Major Sporting Event

February 19, 2017 9:00 am
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Report: Local Satire Paper Missed Major Sporting Event

Surprising absolutely no one, the Flipside staff has managed for two weeks to miss the opportunity to poke fun at the most widely televised athletic event in the U.S., the Super Bowl. Sources confirm that the Flipside nerds vaguely knew of the event’s occurrence and relevance, but that they had neither the time, the interest, nor (certainly) the sports-knowledge to write any worthwhile jokes about it.

“I guess we probably dropped the ball on that one,” an anonymous Flipside head writer commented, shrugging his frail, unathletic shoulders. “We try to write about relevant topics going on in the country, but we sort of forgot about the Super Bowl. I don’t think you’ll be stunned to learn we actually don’t pay attention to football at all.”

The Stanford community is still mourning the loss of an issue full of football jokes (e.g. “come on, they literally just run around hitting each other”), or perhaps an article poking fun at the event’s halftime show.

“Yeah, I don’t know, I was kind of expecting some sort of joke, at least a headline,” sophomore John Li commented while reading the past issue. “It seems like a pretty big event to just miss. I guess they’re not really interested in that sort of thing though?”

 This assumption was confirmed by many friends of the Flipside’s editorial staff, who confirmed that Flipsiders are “total nerds”, “comedy dorks”, and “impressively, disquietingly pale”. In another surprise to no one, though, the majority of Flipside writers actually did have informed and well-articulated opinions about the writing and execution of the comedically intended commercials.