Sophomore Genuinely Confused No One Recognized His “American Military Intervention In Yemen” Costume

October 31, 2016 12:00 pm
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Sophomore Genuinely Confused No One Recognized His “American Military Intervention In Yemen” Costume

One sad Halloween later, Oren Bialystock is still searching for explanations as to why no one correctly recognized his costume of “American Military Intervention In Yemen”. “I put so much effort into making sure the costume was authentic”, Oren said, “but when I got to the party I just got lots of confused glances.”

Bystanders confirmed that Bialystock showed up to Synergy’s Halloween party wearing a map of the rectangular Middle Eastern country adorned with skulls and flame marks, along with a briefcase labeled “offloaded Saudi apologia” and a list of footnotes attached to his shoes. Others mentioned that they overheard him explaining that the burning moon on his arm was actually symbolizing American-sanctioned airstrikes on Doctors Without Borders hospitals.

“I dunno dude, he seemed really frantic by the end of the party,” said one junior, probably Jeff. “I just asked him if this was his way of dressing up as ISIS. Otherwise why would he have so much stuff about American bombs all over him? But then he started going off about material American military support bombing civilian targets and I became both less certain and really fucking bored.”

“Honestly, this has been a huge disappointment,” said Bialystock, “almost as bad as the time that I dressed up as ‘The Left’s Inability To Actually Provoke Action On Anything In Modern Society’. Now that was a really scary costume.”

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