Tesla Unveils Impractically Tiny Car Prototype

May 2, 2016 12:00 pm
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Tesla Unveils Impractically Tiny Car Prototype

Tesla Motors continued their technological hot streak last Thursday, unveiling a new car prototype to rave reviews and wild applause at a conference held at their headquarters in Fremont. The new Model M, which has dimensions of just 2 inches by 3 inches by 2 inches, was hailed as the newest standard in forward- thinking design.

“This is innovation,” proclaimed Tesla founder Elon Musk, “We are always looking for new ways to change the ways we envision the car and this is just one of those many solutions. The Model M can go 0-60 in 3.6 seconds, it has a battery charge of 225 miles, and it can fit in your pocket. Quite simply, it is a marvel of engineering. What’s more, it doesn’t even need a human interface to drive it. Not that a human could even drive it if they wanted to, because they would crush our tiny baby car with their gigantic feet.”

“At first, we thought of Hot Wheels,” said engineer Gavin Holloway, “and then we thought, ‘If we made a Hot Wheels car that costs $40000, would people buy it?’” The Model M has been met with high praise, with critics praising sleek looks, advanced motor and complete incompatibility with the human form.

“This is the future,” said Musk, “a fleet of tiny cars driving off into the distance while humanity trudges slowly in their wake.”

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