Koch Brothers Redraft Proposal for “Keystone Smallish Pipeline”

November 9, 2015 12:00 pm
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Koch Brothers Redraft Proposal for “Keystone Smallish Pipeline”

After a stinging defeat at the hands of President Obama, the Republican patron Koch Brothers have rallied together the right-wing’s best and brightest in an attempt to push through a more moderate proposal.

“It hit us a few hours [after the veto],” said one aide to the Brothers Koch, “honestly, the name ‘Keystone XL’ was too brash, too arrogant. People were scared.  But what if we tried naming Keystone pipeline ‘small?’ Much more palatable.”

Republican think-tanks have already gone into action to redraft the formerly XL Keystone proposal into a more safe-sounding, petite, proposal. When pressed for comment, Democratic candidate Hilary Clinton conceded that “I have no idea how I would combat such a measure in Congress.  People want things that sound safe and with little risk, and the ‘Keystone Smallish Pipeline proposal’ satisfies.”

Republican policy-makers have been brainstorming even more ideas to make the new Keystone initiative more palatable to liberals. “We’ve got a lot of great ideas coming out here: just ten minutes ago, Bobby suggested adding ‘super safe’ in big letters at the top of the proposal.

It is yet unknown if this new pipeline initiative will reach greater success with American politicians, but they can all agree that the more palatable proposal name will change everything especially the realities of the project itself.

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