Op-Ed: I May Have Taken Assassins Too Far…

April 15, 2015 9:00 am
Views: 197
Op-Ed: I May Have Taken Assassins Too Far…

I never meant for it to be like this. If I knew one week ago that I’d be where I am now, I would have never checked “yes” on that damn email. But it’s too late. The damage is already done, and there’s no going back. When I first heard about Assassins, I thought it was just a fun, innocuous game. I know better now.

In the beginning, I didn’t really care. I had my first target, but never went out of my way to actually kill him. Then, one afternoon, I happened to spot him going towards the bathroom, and figured it’d be an easy kill. I hide behind a corner, he walks out and I spray him right in the face. In that moment a deep euphoria consumed my body. I felt alive. “That was pretty good,” I thought, “I have to do this again.”

My next target was a little trickier. I noticed she was barely ever around, and was worried I’d never get my chance. I began to hear from other people in my dorm that she was doing tech for the spring play, and wasn’t back until 2 in the morning. So that night I followed her, and waited in the bushes for about 6 hours while she was working. I may have stumbled into a nest of fire ants, but when she finally came out, and I took her down, the rush was all worth it.

By now I had developed a bit of a reputation. My sources informed me that my assassin was gunning for me hard, and so I needed to be careful. I decided to stop going to class for the week. It was just too risky. And showering was just out of the question. My third target was a total shut-in. She basically never left her room, except to see her boyfriend, which gave me an idea. I began spreading rumors that her boyfriend had cheated on her with a Filipino graduate student, and was planning to break up with her soon. I felt bad, but losing would have felt worse. And sure enough the plan worked. One night, she rushes out of the dorm, and heads towards Lake Lag to cry, foolishly forgetting her gun. When she eventually came back, I snuck up behind her and put her out of her misery.

At this point there was only me, and one guy left. He was known to be extremely cautious, so I knew none of my normal strategies would work. But I was determined to win, and feel that rush one more time. Looking back, I wasn’t thinking too clearly at the time, and should have seen the monster growing inside me. But it was too late. I heard from a friend that he had an 8-year old brother who went to a local high school. This would be my chance. One afternoon I went to the high school, and with the help of some guys I found on Craigslist, I was able to kidnap the brother, and take him to a warehouse in Santa Clara. From there I called my target, and demanded that he come to the warehouse immediately if he ever wanted to see his brother again. I needed to sound convincing if I wanted to win.

Well, long story short, he called the cops on me, and I was just barely able to make it out of that warehouse in one piece. The two guys from Craigslist got hit in the shootout, and weren’t so lucky. I knew I was in trouble now, so I immediately fled the country. I’m currently writing from a crowded bus, on a dirt road somewhere in Central America. It is here that I will make my new home.

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