Sigma Chi, Sigma Nu Offer No Sympathy to Confused Delivery Man

April 28, 2014 12:01 pm
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Sigma Chi, Sigma Nu Offer No Sympathy to Confused Delivery Man

Sources reported that on Wednesday, members of Sigma Nu were incredulous to discover that their Google Shopping Express delivery of Smartwater and Clif Bars was delayed twenty minutes because the Driver confused Sigma Nu with Sigma Chi. “They’re like, not even the same bro,” said sophomore Jeffrey Randle, “Sigma Chi has a frat bench and we don’t. They’re over there, a bunch of college-aged guys playing Bocce Ball, but on our lawn we were all playing frisbee. It’s night and day, man.”

Despite the buildings similarity in size and color, and their proximity to each other, the residents of each house would not express sympathy for confused, 63 year old delivery man, Frank Wilson. “This guy gets paid to drive around in his GoogleCar all day and he can’t even tell the difference between Sig Nu and Sig Chi? Like come on, can he even use GoogleMaps?” fumed senior Mark Hensley, despite both houses being unlisted on the GoogleMaps app and driver Wilson having no previous knowledge of the Greek alphabet or the American Greek system.

As of press time, Wilson was spotted near The Oval asking students, “Where is the damn Broccoli Forest?”

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