Popular Theory that the Little Mermaid is Genghis Khan Probably False

March 5, 2014 12:00 pm
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Popular Theory that the Little Mermaid is Genghis Khan Probably False

One of the latest internet pop culture theories is a fascinating idea regarding the Toy Story movies, which suggests that Andy’s mother is in fact Emily, the original owner of the doll Jesse. An equally popular online theory is  that the character Ariel, also known as the Little Mermaid, and the Mongolian conqueror Genghis Khan, are the same person. In addition to its failure to introduce any “warm fuzzes” like the Toy Story theory, it is also obviously wrong, and we aim to debunk it.

Despite the controversy over this theory, a side-by-side comparison of the two reveals irrefutable differences. We begin with the basics. Genghis Khan was born a human boy in Delüün Boldog, a Mongolian city far from the ocean. He fathered thousands of children and his descendants are scattered all across the globe. Ariel, by contrast, was a female virgin half-fish (the bottom half being the fish, of course), born under the sea in Atlantica. She probably didn’t even have a penis! How could she father anyone? Ariel spent her time underwater with her best friend Flounder; a talking fish. Genghis Khan spent his time massacring the civilian populations he conquered. On LAND. Does that sound like the same person to you?

While proponents of this theory have pointed out that Genghis Khan and Ariel have never been seen in the same location, they ignore the shocking amount of evidence that proves that Genghis Khan is not, and has never been, The Little Mermaid. A sampling of the pigment found in Genghis Khan’s hair, for example, reveals that it was jet black, not the vibrant red found in the hair of the underwater princess.

As the authors of this study, we understand the implications of calling into question such a well-established theory. The facts, however, do not lie. As the Little Mermaid herself famously said in her 1989 debut, “I am not Genghis Khan.”

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