Op Ed: Corn is Very Useful

November 12, 2013 9:00 am
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Op Ed: Corn is Very Useful

Corn can be used for many things. Corn is tasty as a food for people. It is also tasty for animals that are not humans, such as cows or pigs. Corn can be used as an alternate fuel source. It can be used as an alternate fuel source if your primary fuel source isn’t corn, that is. Pigs love to eat corn. Corn cobs can be used to mix cob salad together. They are fantastic for salad tossing.

Conveniently, corn can be grown in the ground. Corn is not only a plant, but serves as a great space-filler in empty fields. Sometimes, people buy corn, which can serve as a source of income for people who fill their fields with it. Often times, these people are called “farmers.” Corn is one of the most popular space-fillers in states that start with “I”: Iowa, Illinois, and Indiana. Except for Idaho. Fucking Idaho.

Candy corn is a popular candy that can be made from corn syrup. In the fall season, before the corn is harvested, the corn stalks are tapped and the syrup is boiled. It is a very long and arduous process considering the unpopularity of this terrible candy.

Corn is yellow. More specifically, corn is maize color. Sometimes corn is called “maize” by those who neglect social norms, like Native Americans. Corn fields can also be cut into mazes, which can cause confusion. Often, “farmers” make amazing maize mazes. Making things in corn fields is a favorite past-time of teenagers and extraterrestrials, both of whom leave what is known as “crop circles” in the fields. “Crop circles” are circles stomped into the crops (which in this case is corn).

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